Eurovision 2012: by the numbers!

  • 1 controversy surrounding the construction of the venue: I’d say that there should have been a tad more planning put into this project so that nobody had to knock on the doors of a bunch of Azerbaijanis and say ‘I’m terribly sorry to interrupt your breakfast/lunch/dinner/grandmother’s funeral, but I’m afraid we have to build a gigantic stadium on the top of your house now.’ Or something like that. There’s no doubt the Crystal Hall will be amazing, but no amount of amazingness can justify making people homeless. Unless it’s made of actual crystal…NO. Not even then!
  • 42 participating countries so far: Every year, around September, I make a point of having a nervous breakdown. Why? Well, it’s not because my birthday is in that month and I am freaking out about getting older (which would be understandable because last September I turned twenty and found a grey hair). It’s actually because the number of confirmed ESC nations is hovering around the 31-34 mark and I panic that it won’t get any higher. Thankfully, it always does. This year’s contest has the potential to have 44 entries, but if it’s 42, I’ll be more than happy, especially since last year’s returnees, Austria, Hungary and Italy (allegedly) are back once more.
  • 1 comeback country: Give me an ‘M’! Give me an ‘O’! Give me a…oh God, I cannot be bothered. It’s Montenegro, okay? In the past I’ve found it odd that Serbia kicks bottom at Eurovision whereas its former spouse struggled three times in the semis before calling it quits. But, perhaps inspired by the changes being brought about by the presence of juries in the voting, Montenegro are back, and despite my being less than fond of their entries, I’m glad. 2012 will be another chance for them to pick a winner – or at least a qualifier (with their artist being called Rambo Amadeus, the latter is all I’m hoping for).

"Please PLEASE perform for us at Eurovision again, Andrea! We really...oh wait. We have Rambo!"

  • 1 withdrawing country: Poland is out and the mourning is well underway. There’s not much to say on this matter apart from ‘I sure hope Poland come back in 2013, preferably with Edyta Gorniak or Ich Troje (now with yellow or purple hair!)’. That’s not too much to ask, is it?
  • 2 ‘will they, won’t they?’ countries: No, neither of them is Slovakia, although you can expect Slovakia to start messing with us again any day now. It is, in fact, Armenia and Morocco. I have a bad feeling they may be missing in Baku. As far as Armenia goes, I find this uncertain status very sad, because they are a trusty Eurovision nation and the idea that they may have to sit this year’s contest out because they can’t be guaranteed safety in Azerbaijan, to be blunt, sucks. Even more so because Eurovision was created to unite the continent.
  • 26 participants in this year’s final: Wow, that means it’ll be almost as marathon as the 2007 semi during which my entire bottom half went numb from sitting on the couch too long! Awesome! But why is it so? Well, that’s because not only do we have the Big 4 (the UK, Spain, Germany and France) but we have the newest member of that exclusive set, Italy (obviously making it a Big 5. I may not have done any maths since high school, but I can count up to ten), and the host country. Add that to the 20 semi final advancers and you have the magic two-six.
  • 26th of January (when the semi final allocation draw will take place): I don’t honestly believe that any particular performance position – except for maybe last – helps a song to qualify, but that doesn’t stop me from immediately setting about predicting once the draw is done. This January draw will determine who sings in each semi, as well as in which half, and that alone is enough to get speculation going.
  • 2 selected songs: I think it’s safe to say that right now, Switzerland is the favourite to win. Unbreakable by Sinplus would definitely deserve the honour and shiny trophy in my book when compared with the “interesting” “song” that is Suus by Rona Nishliu, Albania’s pick. I’ll leave my spite for some proper reviews later in the year (although, if Suus is reworked enough – i.e. completely – the spite level may have decreased by then).

Rona Nishliu: bringing back the dreads we have missed so much in Eurovision since Beth

  • 8 selected artists: Here’s the role call – Iris, Maya Sar, Ivi Adamou, Anggun, Kaliopi, Rambo Amadeus, Zeljko Joksimović and Pastora Soler. I’ll assume you already know which country they’ll be representing (if you don’t, see if you can figure it out by the names…consider it a fun little game!). It looks like Belgium and Cyprus are going down the Lena route by choosing someone young and fresh, whereas France, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia and Spain are bringing out the big guns with chart-topping, established artists. As for Bosnia & Herzegovina? Well, they’re taking a leaf out of Iceland and/or Georgia’s book by kidnapping last year’s backing singer and forcing them at glitter-gunpoint to sing this year (but without the violence, I guess – I hear Maya was fully consenting). Personally, I’m hanging out to hear what Zeljko will come up with, as he is the creator of two of my favourite Eurovision songs of all time, and another cracking one. He’s under a heap of pressure to deliver the goods, but I reckon he can.
  • 7 national selections scheduled for January: As I write this, here’s the go – Bosnia & Herzegovina, France, Slovakia and Turkey will have both songs and artists by the end of the month; Denmark’s MGP will be on the 21st; Cyprus will pick a song for Ivi on the 25th; and Belarus will make their decision on the 28th. As you read this, none of the above is likely to be true. NFs are so very fickle!
  • Today’s final number is a triple-digit 100, for the amount of times per day I think about how excited I am for Melodifestivalen. The list of entrants for 2012 reads like a who’s who of Swedish music (which is kind of what it is). I’ll be keeping my eye on…

–          Loreen and Danny Saucedo, two of my favourites from last year

–          The Moniker, since last year he came third (like a certain Eric Saade did back in 2010 before coming back and winning!)

–          Timoteij, because they are amazing. Obviously.

–          Ulrik Munther, the Swedish Justin Bieber (there’s one in every country. Australia’s is Cody Simpson. Who’s yours? Unless you live in Canada in which case your Bieber IS Bieber, and I’m very sorry for that).

–          Afro-Dite, Andreas Lundstedt, Molly Sandèn and Charlotte Perrelli, because they have all graced the Eurovision stage in the past – some once, some 7564 times (and it’s still not enough is it, Charlotte?) and others on a smaller scale.


So that’s my overblown numerical take on the stale 2012 news that everyone had known about forever. I hope you enjoyed it, and do come back, because I promise to post more regularly and be more hilarious than ever this year. Well, I did at about 11.58pm on December 31st anyway.

Happy New Year!


What are you most looking forward to in the 2012 Eurovision season? Who are you excited to see in the national finals?

9 Responses to “Eurovision 2012: by the numbers!”

  1. logictherapy

    Great post Jaz, I’m getting excited again too! I’m sad not to be going to Baku this year, I suppose I still could but it’s a long way. I went to the last two contests, but I’ll have to wait until it’s a bit closer/more tempting to make it a third. Valletta 2013? *delusional*


    • Jaz

      I am very jealous of you since you have been to 2 more contests than I have! But what I really hate is those people who go every year. As Zdob si Zdub would say, they are SO LUCKY!
      As for Valletta 2013, well, I’d love Malta to host Eurovision, but I’m not hearing a winner in the NF songs for this year. Fabrizio, Richard Edwards, Amber, Klinsmann and Danica Muscat have good songs though. Hopefully there’s a chance of qualification there.
      PS – I’m seeing Belgrade 2013, just quietly…


      • logictherapy

        I need to catch up on the NFs, I haven’t heard anything so far!

        Yes I never expect a lot from Malta, but if they could come 2nd only a few years ago, I’m sure they will make it one day. I would like Fabrizio to have a chance to redeem himself though!!


        • Jaz

          Hopefully Malta can have a Germany-esque change of luck in the near future! Fabrizio’s song is probably my first or second favourite. I don’t know if it would qualify but surely it couldn’t get less points than “I Do” did in Athens (and that was totally undeserved in my opinion). If he makes it to Baku maybe it’ll be third time lucky?
          PS – If you want to keep up with the NFs has a full calendar of the semis and finals. I find it easier to focus just on the finals to prevent extreme stress =P


          • logictherapy

            Thanks Jaz! I might end up using, but I took ages to download everything from last year’s contest, and I never got around to listening to it … oh well!


  2. Tamar Najarian

    Armenians around the world are pretty edgy about the contest as well… we have all looked forward to watching everything, from the drama of the one we get to send to the finals of the contest, every year… and because Azerbaijan has a policy of killing, imprisoning or deporting Armenians, it’s gonna be an extremely drama-filled year for us


    • Jaz

      I will understand if you guys don’t make it to Baku – obviously it’s better to be safe than sorry, and it would be silly to put a song contest before the welfare of the delegation. But Eurovision won’t be the same without Armenia! It’s such a shame that we even have to think about situations like this.


  3. Annika

    More hilarious than last year? Is that possible? xD
    Well, I already commented on the Azerbaijan controversy, I still find it unacceptable.
    I’m glad Montenegro is back, but I’m not sure about Rambo Amadeus 😛 Judging by his other stuff, I don’t think I’ll like his song… but we will see…and I’m glad that they are back because that means more points for Serbia and I’m already cheering for Željko Joksimović even before listening to his song. Sad for Poland, and I also wish for Ich troje to come back, but they seem to been having a hard time finding a new female vocalist, and were supposed to release an album last fall, and right now Michał seems more into collecting cars than into writing songs, so yeah xD
    Agree on what you say about Armenia possibly skipping this year. That would suck.
    The Albanian song is a horror, and I’ll continue bashing it until the revamp…and even after if I happen to still dislike it after the revamp 😛
    Is Ulrik Munther really like Bieber? This might sound weird coming from someone who lives in Canada, but I only know 2 songs by Bieber (one of them being his Christmas song) and they sound nothing like Ulrik’s 😛 but then again, I haven’t hear all of Ulrik’s songs …
    I’m really looking forward to Željko’s song of course 😛 but also Malin Reitan in Norway, Timoteij, Molly…and I’m kind of curious to see what Spain comes with, although I have the feeling that I’m not going to like it xD


    • Jaz

      I know it’s a tough call for me to be funnier, but I will try my best =P
      I am ridiculously excited for Zeljko. Hopefully we get some news on the song presentation soon. All I know is that it will be before May 22nd, which is a pretty safe assumption!
      As for the Bieber comparisons, anyone young and male who sings tends to be labelled ‘The Next Bieber’ or ‘INSERT COUNTRY/CITY/VILLAGE NAME HERE’s Bieber’. I have heard Munther called that. Let’s hope it’s wrong. I like the sound of his MF entry, although judging songs by titles is risky!!
      Aah I keep forgetting about Malin. I hope we get more JESC kids in the selections as the years go on. I’m praying for Katya Ryabova in the near future.



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