Holy guacamole, guys! If you thought the last four or five Saturdays were busy when it came to the ESC NF calendar…then you’re not entirely wrong, they totally were. But this Saturday is on another level, because we’re about to find ourselves with five more songs for Lisbon. FIVE, I TELL YOU!!! THAT’S FOUR MORE THAN ONE!!!
In addition – and I won’t use aggressive all-caps on you this time – Lithuania is edging ever closer to the end of Eurovizija (so they say, but I’ll believe it when I see it) and Sweden’s penultimate Melfest show has arrived. Nights like this are exactly why ‘Super Saturday’ was coined, and I am pumped. Are you?
Here’s a rundown of the evening:
- Estonia (Eesti Laul final)
- Finland (UMK final)
- Iceland (Söngvakeppnin final)
- Lithuania (Eurovizija heat 8)
- Poland (Krajowe Eliminacje final)
- San Marino (1in360 final)
- Sweden (Melodifestivalen Andra Chansen round)
As usual, I’m going to review everything major that went down in ESC terms this week, and I’ll also be talking Estonian eventfulness and Swedish shenanigans (that’s Eesti Laul and Melodifestivalen, for those of you who’d prefer I speak like a normal person). Sorry if you were hoping for a UMK (Monsters please), Poland (Delirium please), etc ramble. Maybe next year, if my time management skills have become superhuman by then!
Let’s rewind to last Saturday, which saw Hungary, Latvia, Moldova, Slovenia and Ukraine take their picks for Portugal. Enrolling in the Class of 2018 were: AWS with Viszlát Nyár; Laura Rizzotto with Funny Girl; DoReDos with My Lucky Day; Lea Sirk with Hvala, Ne!; and Mélovin with Under The Ladder. Along the way we lost BQl and Tayanna, who’ve now finished second two years running in EMA and Vidbir respectively – but it wasn’t for nothing. My favourite choice of last Saturday night was Latvia’s (as they continue to bring it for the fourth year in a row…we’ll see if they get rewarded this time). Having not had the time to follow Supernova at all this season, I had no idea what to expect when I checked out Laura’s winning performance. Afterwards, all I could think was ‘Wow!’ – so you could say it took me (pleasantly) by surprise.
Over in Sweden, the fourth and final semi of Melodifestivalen ended with direkt qualifications for Mariette (shocking) and Rolandz (*sigh*), plus Andra Chansen tickets for Felix Sandman and Olivia Eliasson. It wasn’t a jaw-dropper of a show by any means – Mariette was the favourite, Rolandz obviously is the Owe Thornqvist of 2018 (as I suspected) and Felix will probably get to the final via the scenic route – and it doesn’t look like this week’s AC round will see any major surprises either…OR WILL IT?!? More on that later on in this post.
The NF action didn’t all go down on Saturday: Sunday night was Armenia and Romania’s turn to crown a couple of champions. Armenia could have gone any which way after pre-Depi Evratesil fave Tamar Kaprelian didn’t even advance to the final – and they opted for the first song performed on the night, Qami by Sevak Khanagyan. Now, I do want to keep my poker face on as much as possible until I officially review the entries for Lisbon, but I just have to say that I totally forgive Armenia for letting Tamar go (i.e. we may have lost a bop, but we’ve gained a GORGEOUS ballad in its place). As for Romania, who settled on Goodbye by The Humans…well, I think I need some grow time on that one. The lack of yodeling is something we’ll all have to get used to.
The week ended with two ‘ta-da!’ moments – a.k.a. on Friday, Cyprus and The Netherlands unveiled their entries at last. Eleni Foureira’s Fuego is the ethnopop banger I’ve/we’ve all been waiting for, and once again I think Cyprus has the competitive edge over Greece (I’m still not over Gravity finishing lower than This Is Love last year. JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED). Waylon’s Outlaw In ‘Em – revealed as his Eurovision pick after five consecutive nights of musical possibilities – is not an ethnopop banger (shocking). Instead it’s a full-on, no-holds-barred twang-a-langin’ country anthem in which he is sporadically possessed by Jon Bon Jovi circa 1987. I’ll leave you to wonder (until review time) whether that’s a pro or a con as far as I’m concerned.
I wanted to talk a little bit about Eesti Laul, which isn’t an NF I usually follow from go to whoa – I’ve barely had time to glance at it this year – but it can always be relied on to spit out some really interesting songs that would never be mistaken for Melfest rejects (they’re just so inherently Estonian somehow).
A few semi finals ago there were 20 potential successors to Koit & Laura’s Verona in play; now, 10 remain (DUN DUN DUN!) and tonight is the night for Estonia to name the best one (hopefully, although we all have a different opinion of which one that is) winner.
- Young, Karl Kristjan & Karl Killing feat. Wateva
- Sky, Eliis Pärna & Gerli Padar
- Knock Knock, Nika
- Thousand Words, Sibyl Vane
- Home, Stig Rästa
- Laura (Walk With Me), Vajé
- La Forza, Elina Netšajeva
- (Can’t Keep Calling) Misty, Frankie Animal
- Drop That Boogie, Iiris & Agoh
- Welcome To My World, Evestus
The top three in the odds are Elina, Stig and Vajé (well, they were when I wrote this), but are any of those acts in my personal top three? Short answer: yes. Long answer: keep reading.
La Forza I initially listened to this after hearing Eurofans left, right and centre raving about it, and I didn’t feel it much at first (probably because my expectations were higher than Elina’s glass-shattering soprano notes). But a few listens later, my skin is goosebumping during the chorus. Elina’s performance looks and sounds like nothing else in Eesti Laul 2018, and nothing else in Eurovision 2018 at this point. She is stunning, vocally flawless, and the wearer of a skirt bigger than Aliona Moon’s and just as arresting.
Home Ott Lepland did it to me in 2012, and now it’s Stig who’s making me want to fly to Tallinn ASAP and propose to him on the spot. What a romantic! As always, I’m surprised to see him back in the comp considering he looks like he stumbled across it by accident but decided to just roll with the punches. That aside, I adore this song. It’s sweet and heartfelt without being gag material (FYI, Stig, this is me telling you that I’m currently free for GoT viewings).
Young This is too cute, gosh darn it! One of the Karls even has BRACES, for heaven’s sake (I think it’s one of the Karls…there are a lot of cooks in this kitchen and I’m confused). No, it’s not the most distinctive song on the planet (and it won’t win tonight) but it’s fresh and fun, which gets a YAASSS from me.
Who’s going to win it?
I don’t want to discount anyone and look stupid later (which has already happened a handful of times this selection season), but in my mind the most likely winners are Stig and Elina (not to be mistaken for the Stig and Elina duo of 2015). And I can narrow it down even further than that, because I just don’t think Home is powerful enough to outshine La Forza – though that depends on what Estonia is looking for. Stig gets the authentic, singer-songwriter vote; Elina has the ‘wow!’ moments (La Forza is one long ‘wow!’ moment in itself, actually). I’m thinking it’ll be wow over ‘aww!’ this time.
Oh, and to cover my butt…my underdog winner prediction would be Sibyl Vane or Frankie Animal.
What do you think? Who’s getting on the plane to Portugal on behalf of Estonia, and will their microphone work once they get there?
Kristianstad is the name (does Sweden has a Kostovstad tucked away somewhere?) and Andra Chansen is the game, people. The eight songs that finished 3rd and 4th in their respective Melfest semis throughout February will be chopped in half tonight, with four acts to join Benjamin Ingrosso, John Lundvik, Samir & Viktor, LIAMOO, Martin Almgren, Jessica Andersson, Mariette and *takes a breath* Rolandz in the final. The AC round is often made up of both the obvious and the WTF (results-wise), making it well worth watching even if you’re impatient for the final to just get here already.
Speaking of things just happening already, I’m going to get straight into the duels and share my thoughts on who I’d like to win, and who probably will.
Duel 1: In My Cabana, Margaret VS Cuba Libre, Moncho
First up, two songs that both make me want to go on holiday to a tropical island. Given that Moncho couldn’t have been paired with Mendez for a duel, In My Cabana VS Cuba Libre is the next best thing. There should be a clear winner here – i.e. if Margaret doesn’t walk away with victory in this battle, then there will be something very weird going on in the world (or at least on Planet Eurovision). Then again, I never expected Moncho to get to Andra Chansen in the first place…so I shouldn’t underestimate him again. Still, it’s GOT to be Margaret.
Who should win (IMO) Margaret
Who WILL win Margaret
Duel 2: All The Feels, Renaida VS Never Learn, Olivia Eliasson
Here we have a female soloist in black and fluorescent sports-chic, singing a slick and modern dance-pop song, versus a female soloist in black and fluorescent sports-chic, singing a slick and modern dance-pop song. Well, you can’t say Renaida and OIivia aren’t evenly matched. Having both in the final wouldn’t make a lot of sense, although I do like both songs. But Renaida is the superior performer – her energy and confidence sell All The Feels at a price I’m more than willing to pay, whereas Olivia struggled to perform Never Learn with conviction. I do think this could be the most closely-fought duel of the night considering how similar the options are – sometimes it’s a lot easier choosing between pizza and cake than choosing between pizza and pizza.
Who should win (IMO) Renaida
Who WILL win Renaida
Duel 3: Every Single Day, Felix Sandman VS Songburning, Mimi Werner
We all have our painful AC duels – the ones that are bittersweet because we love both songs and want them both to score a spot in the final. This is mine for the year, in case you hadn’t guessed. I love Felix and his Frans impersonation (Felix is totally sorry, though) plus the bare-bones staging that made the whole thing feel genuine. And yep, I also love Mimi’s country cracker that was staged to perfection (colour scheme, backup drummers and fire curtain were all on point) even if her vocal was wobbly at times. Oof. At the end of the day, my heart (the one in my chest, not the on-screen Melfest app one that drives me INSANE) says Felix a little louder than it says Mimi. Based on his impressive Spotify stream count (it’s more like a flood) and Mimi’s lack thereof, I’d say we’ll be seeing Mr. Sandman in Stockholm next Saturday.
Who should win (IMO) Felix
Who WILL win Felix
Duel 4: Patrick Swayze, Sigrid Bernson VS Everyday by Mendez
Sunny slice of Scandipop goes head-to-head with Latin pop summer song – but who comes out on top? I have been back and forth on this one more times than Sanna Nielsen has filled out Melfest application forms. My personal preference is Mendez, but Sigrid and the effervescent Patrick Swayze have grown on me since the Karlstad semi. And I just don’t know what will win out in the end! SEND HELP.
Who should win (IMO) Mendez
Who WILL win Mendez…or Sigrid. One of the two for sure.
I’ve showed you mine, now you have to show me yours! Who would you bet on to make it out of Andra Chansen tonight?
NF UPDATE: What’s up next?
- 4/3 Portugal (Festival da Canção final)
- 10/3 Norway (Melodi Grand Prix final), Sweden (Melodifestivalen final)
- 11/3 Lithuania (Eurovizija final)
We are so close to the end of national final season, which is sad – but there’s something satisfying about having a freshly-full house of Eurovision entries to talk about. May the best songs win this weekend (the best according to me, that is, because I’m selfish and want things to go my way musically), and may you enjoy whatever you choose to watch!
Greetings, guys! Here we are again, staring down the barrel of the glitter-filled cannon that is another Super Saturday (a phrase meaning nothing to non-Eurofans but so much to the rest of us). NF action on the agenda tonight is coming live from:
- Hungary (A Dal final)
- Latvia (Supernova final)
- Lithuania (Eurovizija heat 7)
- Moldova (O Melodie Pentru Europa final)
- Slovenia (EMA final)
- Sweden (Melodifestivalen semi 4)
- Ukraine (Vidbir final)
Yes, you read that right – we get not one, not two, not three, not even four, but FIVE (bet you didn’t see that coming) Eurovision entries this evening. That’s in addition to the last standard Melfest semi before the Stockholm final; and another heat in the long, long, loooooong line of Lithuanian Eurovizija episodes (will it ever end?).
As I have to be picky, I’m shining my conversational spotlight on Sweden and Ukraine only for this post – but before that, let’s take a look at the results/song reveals from the week that was.
Finland finished off Saara Aalto’s song reveals on Friday (well, kind of…track three was actually leaked by UK media before YLE had a chance to go ‘Ta-da!’). Queens is the name, and another competent pop song is the game – but I’m not totally into playing. In my opinion – and please pardon the approaching pun – it’s third in line to the throne of being Finland’s 2018 ESC entry. I’m saying that before we’ve seen Saara smash the trio of songs out live on stage, of course, and when she does on March 3rd it could change everything. But for now, solely based on studio versions and video clips, it’s Monsters all the way for me. How about you?
We have a winner in Germany, and it comes in the form of Michael Schulte and You Let Me Walk Alone. A ballad not-so-subtly focused on the death of his dad, it’s engineered (in the nicest way possible) to be a tearjerker. Basically, it’s to music what The Fault In Our Stars is to cinema. But I either have dried-out tear ducts or a bitter, empty soul, because the song does zip to me. It’s pleasant – I feel that much – but I can’t see myself making the effort to vote for it in May. I can see a slightly better result than that achieved by Levina’s Perfect Life, but if Michael didn’t have German auto-finalist status in his corner, I’m not sure he’d qualify from a semi.
Anyone who was hoping for a Balkan ballad this year got it this week from Montenegro: yes, the same country that sent the iconic and super-sexual Slavko Kalezić to Kyiv. Vanja Radovanović and Inje couldn’t be more of a contrast to Slavko and Space (Vanja doesn’t even have a hair extension to whip around in a helicopter-like fashion…how will we cope?!?). It’s sombre and down-tempo, and not quite up there with a Željko Joksimović creation. Even so, I’m happy to have it add variety to the Lisbon line-up.
Serbia has gone full Serbian on us – which I welcome with open arms – and chosen Nova Deca by Sanja Ilić and Balkanika. This is the kind of song that popped up at contests circa 2004-2010, but I wouldn’t say it was dated – it’s more of an ultra-ethnic throwback to Eurovisions of the past. A fusion of modern and traditional sounds will usually get a gold star (or at least an approving nod) from me, but I think Nova Deca and I need to spend more time together to see what I’m prepared to give it. I’ve literally listened to it once!
Over in Sweden, Melodifestivalen proved it’s not always predictable by throwing a spanner in the works of everyone who thought Mendez and Dotter would walk the Malmö show (i.e. me). Jaws dropped worldwide as Dotter didn’t even make the first cut, Mendez only reached Andra Chansen alongside Moncho, and schlager reigned supreme (Christer Björkman’s worst nightmare) as Jessica Andersson became the first female to go direkt in 2018. Oh, and Martin Almgren made the final too (but I may have been asleep when that happened). This plot twist makes predicting the last semi final a tough task…in a first world kind of way.
Speaking of which, it’s time for me to talk more about Melfest (#seguechampion).
It’s hard to believe that we’re already approaching the pointy end of Melfest for the year. It’s been a lacklustre one to date, so there was one big question hanging in the air and being feverishly tweeted out by flabbergasted Eurofans: had the best songs been saved for last? There was, after all, one song in particular tucked away in heat 4 that was supposed to be The One.
So IS IT? *insert dramatic cliffhanger music here*.
- Icarus, Emmi Christensson
- Mitt Paradis, Elias Abbas
- Break That Chain, Felicia Olsson
- Fuldans, Rolandz
- Never Learn, Olivia Eliasson
- Every Single Day, Felix Sandman
- For You, Mariette
Overall, there are more songs I like in this semi than there have been in any of the others. But the best one (IMO) isn’t as good as the almost-best we’ve had in semis of past years – and that’s a good indication of a sub-standard Melfest. But it is what it is, so let’s focus on the positives for a while. Well, my positives.
My top 4
Mitt Paradis Cookie cutter tropical dance pop it may be, but that genre is a crowd-pleaser…and a Jaz pleaser. Elias is bringing the first of two Swedish-language songs to the table for this semi, and I prefer his by miles.
Break That Chain I’m calling this a guilty pleasure, because I feel like I shouldn’t like it since nobody else does. Sure, it could have been a mid-tempo lady ballad from any time between 2004-2013, but that’s part of the appeal. I was expecting Felicia to be starring in the sequel to Make Me No. 1 (her first Melfest entry from, coincidentally, another weak year) so props to her for surprising me.
Every Single Day Felix has gone from FO&O to Frans (ish) in the space of a year, and though I loved and still love Gotta Thing About You (in spite of some ridiculous lyrics), I’m impressed by how different this solo sound of his has turned out to be. I do feel like I need to hear the full song to decide whether it’s good or great, but the snippet is promising.
For You *cliffhanger music from earlier makes a comeback* So is Mariette 3.0 also Mariette, winner of Mello 2018? I’m not convinced. She’s already lost her top spot in the odds to Benjamin Ingrosso, which doesn’t bode well for a supposed runaway winner. Yet I do think For You is one of the best songs on offer tonight, and an almost-definite direkt qualifier. Extra points for not resembling Niamh Kavanagh’s It’s For You in the slightest.
So, who’s going direkt til final? Mariette + Rolandz. The former because it’s an easy prediction to make (then again, so was Mendez last week), and the latter because it’s something I don’t want to happen but can see happening á la Owe Thornqvist in 2017. If it’s not a cringeworthy man band joining Mariette in the final, it could be one of the solo boys – most likely Elias given Felix’s shock 6th place in the rehearsal audience poll.
And who’s off to Andra Chansen? Elias + Felix. I can’t bring myself to say that Felix might go nowhere and feel some of Dotter’s pain in the process, so AC it is (I am prepping for the worst though). If he slips further down, it might make way for Emmi or Olivia. BYE, FELICIA is sadly on the cards.
What do you think? Will a curveball be thrown again this week at Melfest, or are we back to knowing exactly what’s going to happen?
Flying east to Ukraine, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…right? Yes or no, last year’s hosts are about to pick their song for Portugal. After two semis, six possibilities remain, and the standard is as high as the Vidbir finals of 2016 and 2017 (ICYMI, I thought those finals were awesome). It’s almost a do-over of last year anyway, with multiple familiar faces taking another shot at representing Ukraine.
- Beat of the Universe, Kadnay
- Lelya, Tayanna
- Heroes, The Erised
- Waiting, Laud
- Forest Song, Vilna
- Under The Ladder, Mélovin
Is there a dud here? I don’t think so.
My top 3
Lelya Tayanna’s I Love You from last year would have become one of my most beloved host entries ever, had she not come down with a super ill-timed, voice-ruining sickness. As far as I know she’s healthy this time round, and ready to deliver another flawless, sassy and energetic performance of Lelya, which shows off her incredible vocals without sounding like she’s having a screaming match with herself. The chorus of this song is catchy on an alarming level. 9/10.
Under The Ladder Like Tayanna, Mélovin has come back to Vidbir with a song that’s not as good as his last, but is still Eurovision-worthy. It’s his performance that really makes Under The Ladder something special, but the interesting lyrics and easy-to-chant-while-a-bit-drunk ‘oh-oh-oh’ bits make it a decent standalone song. 8/10.
Beat of the Universe This one’s more hardcore and unique than Lelya or Under The Ladder, and though I suspect it wouldn’t do as well at the ESC as they would, nothing else like it is likely to end up in Lisbon (which could give it an advantage). It’s a little bit Imagine Dragons and a little bit Marvel movie soundtrack. Those are good things, by the way. 7.5/10.
Thoughts on the rest
Heroes What, no leather pants or cartoon stick men with balloons? Shame. This Heroes is no Eurovision winner – and probably no Ukrainian representative either – but I can see/hear how it got this far. If the Vidbir final was an album, it’d be considered for a single release rather than kept back as filler. 7/10.
Waiting Like Heroes, this is not likely to be ESC-bound. I wouldn’t complain about Laud proving me wrong though, after my Tayanna/Mélovin grieving period was over. 7/10.
Forest Song I’d give this a solid 6/10, even though it’s my least favourite of the six. If Emmelie de Forest ate a special brownie from an Amsterdam coffee shop, Vilna and her musical stylings would be the result. 6/10 (as I said).
Who’s going to win this thing? O. Torvald were not on my radar this time last year, so I don’t want to assume anything…but Mélovin’s televote in his semi was substantial to say the least. Tayanna’s was surprisingly humble, and I don’t think any of the songs that haven’t competed against Under The Ladder yet are strong enough to beat it. The jury could shift things, obviously, and I can see Tayanna or Kadnay edging a win if they also grab a bigger percentage of the televote than before. But a lot has to work in their favour – and NOT in Mélovin’s – to make that happen. To sum up, I’m saying Mélovin will take it!
I’ve been pretty hit and miss this NF season with predictions (what else is new) so feel free to help me out in the comments. Who do think will go to Portugal on behalf of Ukraine, and who do you want to see get there?
NF UPDATE: What’s up next?
- 25/2 Armenia (Depi Evratesil final), Romania (Selecţia Naţională final)
- 27/2 San Marino (1in360 final)
That’s all I’ve got time for, folks (sad but true). I’ll be back next Saturday – hopefully with a less hasty post, having had about thirty seconds to put this one together – to review the latest highlights of the selection season and discuss the shows still to come, feat. big hitters Eesti Laul, UMK, Norsk MGP and Melfest (duh).
Right now though, I’m going to attempt to fit eight hours of sleep into the few hours left before my NF alarm goes off. FYI, I’ve set it to play Tamar Kaprelian’s Poison in tribute to what could have been a cracking piece of ethnopop among the Class of ’18. Sadface.
Hej och välkommen to another Super Saturday! The Eurovision calendar of events is fuller than Linda Wagenmakers’ skirt this weekend, and I refuse to even think about how it compares to my social calendar (not that I need one when there’s so much NF action keeping me occupied). We may only be getting the gift of one more entry for Lisbon tonight, but there are loads of semi finals going on and paving the way for a full house of songs. The fact that 2018 entries are trickling in at the moment just means we have time to make up extra beds and pull together a sufficient snacking platter.
- Estonia (Eesti Laul semi 2)
- Hungary (A Dal semi 2)
- Iceland (Söngvakeppnin semi 2)
- Latvia (Supernova semi 3)
- Lithuania (Eurovizija heat 6)
- Montenegro (Montevizija final)
- Slovenia (EMA semi)
- Sweden (Melodifestivalen semi 3)
- Ukraine (Vidbir semi 2)
If that list doesn’t offer something for every Eurofan, then I’ll denounce my unconditional love for Lane Moje. It’s so long that little old lonesome me can’t possibly talk about it all. So, in keeping with shows I’ve already covered this season and shows I’m waiting until later to discuss, I’ll only be talking about a) what’s happened in the world of Eurovision 2018 over the past seven days, and b) Melodifestivalen (duh, says the Swedophile) in this post. I know what you’re thinking…
…but the day I both become Superwoman and stop considering Melfest the pinnacle of national finals, I’ll let you know.
We may not have welcomed too many tracks into the family this week (as I said, they’re trickling through like treacle this NF season) but a heap of stuff has happened regardless. Don’t believe me? Well, the proof is in the pudding, a.k.a. in the following rundown of bits and pieces.
The newest of brand-new songs heading to Lisbon (at this stage) is from Belarus, with Alekseev oh-so-predictably winning Eurofest with Forever on Friday night. Despite visually stunning staging, the “revamp” of the song has really just served to make him sound like he’s performing the original version wrong, and I’m not 110% convinced we will see/hear him sing it in May. But Belarus would be smart to keep him as their artist – and even smarter to show him off to his full advantage with the Russian version of Forever (if possible) or a totally different, non-English song altogether.
Denmark gave us a fabulous beard and a Viking anthem last weekend, as redheaded Rasmussen stormed to Dansk Melodi Grand Prix victory. Even though Higher Ground doesn’t sound remotely 2018, it’s very Eurovision and a definite statement piece – unlike some of the bland, wallpapery songs Denmark could have chosen this year and HAVE chosen in the past. Still, that second semi of death beckons, and it’s a question mark whether or nor the Danes will survive it.
Artist announcements – some with songs, some without – were fired out of the cannon at a rapid rate this week. Croatia is sending Franka Batelić with Crazy (which I’m sensing we’ll hear sometime between now and mid-March); Greece, after a mess of an NF lead-up that has resulted in no NF at all, has opted for Gianna Terzi and Oneira Mou (which is Greek-chic and 10x better than This Is Love IMO); Israel crowned Netta Barzilai the champ of Rising Star (which in addition to stars, rose questions re: vocal manipulation and how much of it Netta will be permitted to do in Portugal); and Macedonia revealed that Eye Cue will represent them with Lost and Found (let’s hope the song’s better than the band name). Planet Eurovision is a busy place to be in February, that’s for sure, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Finland’s second song for Saara Aalto, Domino, premiered on Friday in the wake of the well-received Monsters. Pros: it’s a pretty modern power ballad that Saara handles with ease. Cons: the lyrics are made up of one cliché after another (the wrecking ball simile has got to go). Monsters is the best option so far, but if Domino is the worst YLE has to offer, Finland deserves a high five *smack*.
After approximately 65 years, Italy’s Sanremo festival concluded with Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro taking home top honours and accepting the invitation to go to Eurovision. Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente is not set in stone as the competition song though – back in 2012 Nina Zilli swapped out Per Sempre for L’Amore É Femmina (I was not a happy camper), and a swap may well happen again. So the moral of this story is, maybe don’t include Italy in your rankings just yet.
Semi number two of Sweden’s Melodifestivalen saw an expected result: Samir & Viktor + LIAMOO direkt, Margaret + Mimi Werner to Andra Chansen. Boy, do we need some girls in that final ASAP! I am happy that for the first time ever, I predicted a Melfest heat completely correctly, but that’s probably testament to how see-through the semi was. My favourite was LIAMOO, so DTF = woohoo, but I must say that Mimi’s staging was beyond brilliant. I love you John Lundvik, and I’m a let you finish, but Mimi Werner had the BEST FIRE CURTAIN OF ALL TIME.
Now, speaking of Melfest…it’s time to talk about tonight’s deltävling tre.
Sweden’s traveling stage has been set up in ESC 2013 headquarters this week – Malmö Arena. Sadly Petra Mede won’t be popping up from underneath it in a John Paul Gaultier creation, but what WILL happen is…*unnecessary drum roll* seven more songs will be sung in a fight for a top 4 finish. And here they are:
- A Bitter Lullaby, Martin Almgren
- Stark¸ Barbi Escobar
- Cubra Libre, Moncho
- Party Voice, Jessica Andersson
- Min Dröm, Kalle Moraeus & Orsa Spelmän
- Cry, Dotter
- Everyday, Mendez
To all those saying that this is the worst edition of Melodifestivalen ever…well, I can see where you’re coming from. It certainly doesn’t measure up to any of the years I’ve been following it like the crazed fan I now am (2011 onwards) with just one semi left to lift the overall standard (unlikely). But I have no doubt that the March 10 final at Friends Arena is going to go off – there are four very good songs there already, after all; four to come; and four others to emerge from AC, which will be the best of the rest. And it only takes one song to kick butt at Eurovision, so let’s have some faith in Björkman (even if you can’t stand him, you can’t deny his ability to engineer excellent Swedish results) until it’s proven we shouldn’t, K?
My top 4
Cry Firstly, I just want to say how much I loved Dotter in Practical Magic (and that Academy Award? You go, girlfriend). Okay, so maybe she and Nicole Kidman ARE different people (have they ever been seen in the same room at the same time?). But they’re both very talented, and Dotter has the most intriguing snippet of the seven this week. The originality factor isn’t very high, however, since the comparisons to this are obvious.
Party Voice Mello wouldn’t be Mello without a touch of schlager, and Jessica Andersson is the perfect woman to serve it up – with a side of EDM, no less. It’s a big change from her last shot at getting back to Eurovision (long shiny dress + ballad) but for the better (or for the equally good). I have my ears at the ready to hear her party voice.
Everyday Apparently this is The One of the semi – the one Björkman wants us all to fawn over. I’m a little surprised – is it that special? – but I do like the sound of it, predictable lyrics (you and me/meant to be…no thanks) aside. It taps into the Latin pop trend nicely, and the chorus is catchy and fun.
Stark I’m on my own with this one, but it really stands out to me as a dance track with a melancholy feel. Of the three Swedish-language songs competing in Malmö, it’s my top pick.
So, who’s going direkt til final? Mendez + Dotter. This prediction goes against betting odds and the weekly audience poll, but I’m afraid I don’t get the DTF appeal of Martin. And I desperately want some womanly representation in that final! Mendez will sail through, but I really think Cry is the song that deserves to get a golden ticket.
And who’s off to Andra Chansen? Martin + Jessica. No, I wouldn’t be surprised if Dotter is bumped down to AC by Martin regardless of what I just said, but A Bitter Lullaby screams second chance. I’ll be mad if Jessica’s journey ends pre-AC, unless it’s because of Barbi…but that’s not happening.
What do you think? Will we get some much-needed girl power delivered to the Melfest final tonight, or will it be dudes direkt yet again?
NF UPDATE: What’s next?
- 18/2 Portugal (Festival de Canção semi 1), Romania (Selecţia Naţională semi 5)
- 19/2 Armenia (Depi Evratesil semi 1)
- 20/2 Serbia (Beovizija final)
- 22/2 Armenia (Depi Evratesil semi 2), Germany (Unser Lied Für Lissabon final)
And that’s my cue to leave, ‘cause it’s traditional pre-3am power nap time. Whether you’re gearing up for the NF of your choice by sleeping or not (which depends where you’re living in relation to CET), do whatever you’ve got to do and enjoy what you’re going to watch. The selection season’s going so fast, we have to appreciate it while we can!
SELECTION SEASON 2018 | A results rundown, Malta’s musical half-marathon + the Swedish spectacular starts again!
Welcome to another triple S – Selection Season Saturday! This is the first SSS of what will be a frantic February on the Eurovision NF calendar. Seriously, BRACE YOURSELVES. We do get to ease into things though, with five pan-European heats, semis and finals happening tonight instead of 500 (or what feels like 500. Those Saturdays are still to come).
Those five ESC warm-ups are in Hungary (A Dal Heat 3), Latvia (Supernova semi 1), Lithuania (Eurovizija Heat 4), Malta (MESC final) and *screams* Sweden (Melodifestivalen Heat 1). I cannot believe Melfest is kicking off again – this time last year, I was figuring out what to shove in my suitcase before flying off to Stockholm for the final. I might be watching from afar in Australia this time around, but that doesn’t mean I’m not practically peeing my pants with excitement. In case it’s not obvious enough, I’m a Melfest freak and will definitely be sacrificing all other NFs for Sweden’s over the coming month-and-a-half (unless Dansk MGP turns out to be unmissable). And, naturally, I’m going to discuss Melfest’s first heat/deltävling in detail in this post – plus run my eye over all the pre-Eurovision results and internal selections from the past seven days, AND ramble on about Malta for a while too.
Let’s get started…and finished, so you can hit up my comments box with your opinions + predictions before this evening’s shows get underway.
Cyprus stopped the rumour mill turning fast by announcing Eleni Foureira (not Helena Paparizou) as their act for 2018. She’s heading to Lisbon with Fuego, which will be unveiled in March – but it was written by pop powerhouse Alex P, the man behind Yassou Maria by Sarbel, Always by Aysel and Arash, and La La Love by Ivi Adamou. In other words, he’s yet to send a dud track to Eurovision, and my hopes are sky-high for this latest entry. All I know about Eleni at this stage is that she’s tried to represent Greece a handful of times in the past…so if Greece is beaten by Cyprus this year, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves!
The Czech Republic MERCIFULLY chose Mikolas Josef and Lie To Me as their (clearly best-ever) entry on Monday, which eased my French pain a little (I’ll talk about that in second). This song is so catchy, so irresistible, and yes – so inappropriate. It’ll be interesting to see how much of the lyrical content Mikolas will have to rewrite/tweak (Robin Bengtsson can offer advice on how to seamlessly transition from ‘f**king’ to ‘freaking’) to satisfy the EBU. Can he please keep the bamboo bit? It’s brilliant.
Oh, France. Sacre bleu! Okay, so I’m not mad at them for making Mercy by Madame Monsieur the Destination Eurovision winner last Saturday – it’s a great song with a great story to tell. The only reason my heart still hurts is because I was major-league invested in Lisandro Cuxi’s Eva, and to see him put in the flawless performance he did only to get pipped in the public vote put the Eva into devastating. On the plus side, my winner prediction was correct. Woohoo/sadface.
We have an artist and a to-be-heard song from Ireland, with Britain’s Got Talent alum Ryan O’Shaughnessy (who according to Wikipedia is the nephew of Gary O’Shaughnessy, representative of Ireland in 2001…is this the truth?) off to Portugal with Together. I hope it’s not lame like the title would suggest – Ryan’s described it as a power ballad with a gospel feel, which to me sounds like a Sam Smith knockoff (I would not be opposed to that BTW).
Spain tested all of us who feel uncomfortable when witnessing a PDA by selecting Alfred & Amaia, newly minted #couplegoals, to pick up where Slovenia’s Platin left off in 2004. MWAH. Their song Tu Canción is sweet, and I hope they don’t break up before the contest…if they do, their performance might look more like this:
What would we do without the mammoth, Mediterranean Bank-sponsored Maltese national final in our lives? Granted, it’s not as mammoth as it used to be (and I’m not even sure MedBank are involved these days), but MESC still has its own unique attractions – the cheesy lyrical content, numerous Borgs and Micallefs, and artists who just keep coming back no matter how many times they don’t make it to Eurovision (you know I’m thinking of Deborah C). I wouldn’t want it any other way (so please don’t get offended if you’re Maltese or pro-Malta…I’m just calling things as I see them in an affectionate way, K?).
This year, sixteen acts will be whittled down to one in a single night – brutal! It will probably take the entire night, though. As a sloth in a human suit, I can totally relate to Malta taking things slooooowly. Here’s the line-up for this evening:
- Dai Laga, AIDAN
- Rocket, Miriana Conte
- Supernovas, Jasmine Abela
- Call 2morrow, Matthew Anthony
- One Step At A Time, Danica Muscat
- Breaking Point, Dwett
- Love Renegade, Lawrence Gray
- Song For Dad, Richard & Joe Micallef
- First Time, Tiziana Calleja
- Back To Life, Eleanor Cassar
- Beyond Blue Horizons, Rhiannon
- Heart of Gold, Brooke
- Taboo, Christabelle
- Turn It Up, Deborah C
- We Can Run, Avenue Sky
- Evolution, Petra
There are actually not that many returnees in this bunch, but Deborah C is worth about five with the amount of times she’s had a bash at the comp. There are a handful of new faces too, and that seems to have come hand-in-hand with some songs that aren’t what we’re used to hearing from our favourite tiny island. So which ones am I hoping will appear on Spotify so I can listen to them because I want to, not because I have to?
My top 5
Rocket I feel like I’m at a party for one having this as my favourite, but I reckon it’s underrated. Ultra-catchy, youthful enough for 16-year-old Miriana without sounding like it should be at JESC rather than MESC, and lyrically adequate (as in they make sense and don’t resort to love/above type stuff), it’s got everything going for it. Wouldn’t be out of place in a Melfest semi. 9/10.
Heart of Gold As much of a Wiktoria Lay Me Down tribute as this is, there’s a reason we all fell head-over-heels for that. Some of the same country-pop charm pops up here, as does the weirdest lyrical concept in history – ‘You’re a pack of wolves with a heart of gold’. WOT?!? Still, sometimes all I need to enjoy something is an infectious tune, and HOG’s got one. 8.5/10.
Call 2morrow I can’t believe I’m rooting for a song with a painfully 2000s number in the title. I mean, I literally messaged this exact phrase to my friends on my Nokia 3310 when I was 13. But regardless, the song itself is surprisingly un-Malta and on the right side of alt-pop to appeal to me. Points added for ‘Does your body still remember my bed’; points off for the use of the word ‘cuddle’. 8/10.
Song For Dad This is so corny and so cheesy, I’ve taken to calling it a musical quesadilla. But I am a big fan of Mexican food, so that doesn’t mean I’m totally turned off by Richard & Joe’s familial love-fest (just partially turned off by the clichéd lyrics re: standing by someone’s side when times get tough and blah blah blah *reaches for a sick bag*). The folksy feel and melody are pretty palatable, and I’m always a sucker for Richard’s singing voice. 7.5/10.
Taboo Firstly, I’ve got to say it: this is not Christabelle at her best. Secondly I’ll say that she’s still decent, even without a song on par with the sensational Rush from 2015. Clunky, mixed-metaphor lyrics (a trend for MESC 2018 apparently) and a dated dubstep breakdown do not stop Taboo from being one of the most memorable and modern tracks competing tonight. 7.5/10.
Predicting the winner
MESC is often an easy nut to crack when it comes to predicting the outcome, but an occasional curveball (plus my strangely amateurish prediction skills…only been doing it for 12 years, guys) zaps my confidence a bit.
My top three educated guesses for the win are Jasmine Abela (we share a name! I have to show her some love), Richard & Joe and Brooke, with Christabelle trailing behind because I just don’t see Taboo as winner material. If I were a betting woman, I’d be dropping my cash on Brooke. It seems like it might be third time lucky for her.
Will Malta gravitate towards Jasmine’s power ballad, Richard & Joe’s sugar overload or Brooke’s expensive and heavy aortic pump (Heart of Gold has more of a ring to it, I’ll admit) OR will I be wrong for the first time this selection season? Tune in to the MESC 2018 final from 21:00 CET here to find out – and while you’re waiting for the show to start (assuming you’re a weirdo who’d willingly sacrifice a Melfest semi for MESC) let me know who your tip is to represent Malta in Lisbon below.
If anyone tries to tell you that Melodifestivalen ISN’T the cream of the NF crop, they are a) delusional, b) lying, or c) have their own opinion which is totally fine, each to their own etc. But my favourite selection show has always been Melfest, and my unconditional love was strengthened even more by my final visit in 2017 (FYI I will be mentioning it every chance I get this season). Needless to say, even though I already said it in the intro, I am pumped like a bicycle tyre for the six-week extravaganza to start again. Tonight’s first heat will see seven acts – including vintage Eurovision legend Kikki Danielsson – go head-to-head in Karlstad for two final places and two second chances.
- Patrick Swayze, Sigrid Bernson
- My Turn, John Lundvik
- All The Feels, Renaida
- Livet På En Pinne, Edward Blom
- Osby Tennessee, Kikki Danielsson
- Solen Lever Kvar Hos Dig, Kamferdrops
- Dance You Off, Benjamin Ingrosso
The Eurofan community has been mouthing off about the “weakness” of this heat (based, might I add, on audio snippets and rehearsal glimpses) but my motto is that first impressions never last. Besides, it only takes one amazing song to succeed or even win Eurovision – which isn’t SVT’s first priority at this stage anyway. The priority is to put on another ratings-magnet variety show for us all to dissect on Twitter. One step at a time, people.
I do feel like the best of Melfest 2018 is yet to come, but I’ve warmed up to a lot of the songs in this heat despite that. Have you? Speak up in the comments!
My top 4
Dance You Off Benjamin’s Melfest debut last year was an awesome one IMO, and if I were ten years younger I would 110% have a poster of him on my wall. DYO sounds more like Good Lovin’ than his post-Melfest 2017 singles did, and that’s fine because he can do no wrong. I’m very keen to see his performance, which has been choreographed by Robin Bengtsson’s treadmill consultant.*
*I made this job title up, but WHAT A CAREER THAT WOULD BE!
Solen Lever Kvar Hos Dig It’s like Jamie-Lee Kriewitz took up residence on Kamferdrops’ face and just stayed there, isn’t it? That aside, there’s something dreamy about this track that makes me want to hear more. It’s schlager, 2018-style. In the club. With sequined tracksuits.
My Turn A good power ballad can do wonders, and this sounds like it could be a darn good PB. It stands out for the right reasons even in the slot of death (which is more like a lot of grievous bodily harm in a seven-song show).
All The Feels Well, at least there’s not a hashtag shoehorned into the title as well. When you have all the feels, I guess you just have to express it through song – and Renaida’s expression is nicely in keeping with the Dua Lipa/Zara Larsson badass lady pop genre.
So, who’s going direkt til final? Benjamin Ingrosso + John Lundvik. Benjamin was the hot fave for this heat (pun actually not intended) but it was John who won the audience poll post-rehearsals. I thought he was being underrated, so that’s a relief. If he and Mr. Ingrosso do go direkt, I’ll be happy.
And who’s off to Andra Chansen? Edward Blom + Kamferdrops. Edward sounds like he’s putting on the kind of Broadway-esque, “humorous” performance usually put on by the host/s before the actual competition starts, and since I think it’s ridiculous I wouldn’t put it past Sweden to send it to AC. Kamferdrops, my spidey senses tell me, could be left out of the top four entirely, but nobody’s really fighting for fourth place, so I’m having a wishful guess. Otherwise it could be Renaida squeaking through.
What do you think? Can you predict how Sweden will vote, or are you as unsure as I am?
NF UPDATE: WHAT’S NEXT?
Here’s what’s on offer in the lead-up to the next Super Saturday.
- Sunday 4/2 Romania: (Selecția Națională semi 3), Switzerland (Entscheidungsshow final)
- Tuesday 6/2 Italy (Sanremo night 1)
- Wednesday 7/2 Italy (Sanremo night 2), United Kingdom (You Decide final)
- Thursday 8/2 Italy (Sanremo night 3)
- Friday 9/2 Italy (Sanremo night 4), San Marino (1in360 night 1)
Which show are you most excited for?
Well, I reckon I’ve said enough for one night. Aren’t you glad I didn’t review every NF of the evening? My typing fingers sure are.
I’m off now to get my traditional power nap before that pesky alarm goes off at 3am (livin’ that unfortunate time zone life as always). Don’t forget to join yours truly on Twitter then so we can try to out-zinger each other (Vocals! Costumes! Props! Results! David Lindgren’s antics! There’s so much stuff to critique) – just follow me @EurovisionByJaz. It’s going to be a fun one, guys!
Bonjour! To answer all the usual questions…yes, I’m still alive; yes, I’m still blogging; and yes, my excuse for NOT blogging since Junior Eurovision in ye olde November 2017 (!!!) is the same (annoying adult commitments such as work, etc).
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m beyond ready to dive deep into Eurovision 2018’s selection season. Tonight is a great night to do it, with three shows – including one decider – on the calendar. Plus, we get a Romanian heat and another installment of Israel’s Next Star tomorrow night. Oh, and on Monday, something’s happening in Spain (Operación Triunfo is just a big ol’ bunch of confusion), while the Czech Republic will announce that Mikolas Josef is representing them in Lisbon which of their six shortlisted acts is heading to Lisbon. OOF. If you thought I wasn’t going to make a dramatic re-entrance into the world of Euroblogging to cover all/whatever I can manage of this NF action…
‘What I can manage’, a.k.a. what I’ve chosen to cover this weekend are the happenings in the two countries that are 110%, totally and definitely choosing their reps for Portugal now (but don’t worry, I’ll be all over the Melodifestivalen semis once they start next weekend). That’s France and the Czech Republic, hence the punny title of this post.
So, without further ado, I’m going to share with you my thoughts on the songs of their selections, and predict who’ll end up flying the blue, white and red for a) a country that’s always in the ESC final, and b) a country that’s almost never in the ESC final. Leave your opinions + predictions in the comments below!
I have to kick off the France talk by saying OOH LA LA! After heading to Eurovision all flawless for the past few years (right down to Amir’s perfect teeth and Alma’s endless legs), they’ve continued to bring it in 2018 with a super-high-standard national final: Destination Eurovision (which sounds like an awesome holiday resort on a private island that one can only gain access to if one knows all the words to Alexander Rybak’s Fairytale by heart).
After two semis of eighteen acts performing their potential ESC entries, plus a version of something else – and being scored by a jury only – eight artists remain, as do eight songs that are decent at worst and brilliant at best. C’est magnifique!
Tonight’s show looks a little like this (because it will also feature duets):
- Mamma Mia, Louka
- Ailleurs, Max Cinnamon
- OK ou KO, Emmy Liyana
- Mercy, Madame Monsieur
- Rêve de Gamin, Nassi
- Eva, Lisandro Cuxi
- Lisboa Jerusalem, Igit
- Ciao, Malo’
A handful of great songs fell by the wayside in the lead-up to this final, but the fact that they weren’t sacrificed for inferior songs (IMO) says a lot about the effort France is putting in at the moment. I’m not saying that I absolutely adore every single song still in the running – I have some standout favourites for sure. But as you’re about to see, there’s nothing on display tonight that will have me hitting the mute button (or reaching for a pair of earplugs – whichever’s easiest in my 4am haze).
Thoughts + scores
Mamma Mia This was one of the first songs to grab my attention at the snippet stage, and I’m still loving it. It’s a little bit tropical-pop and edges towards the Latin pop trend too, so basically it’s pretty exotic. Oui, it’s repetitive, but the chorus is the hook and I’m biting! Louka is an attractive Frenchman, which also helps (yeah, I can be shallow. Sue me). 8.5/10.
Ailleurs I DO absolutely adore this one. It’s magical. The chorus is memorable and makes an impact without being loud and in-your-face. Overall, it’s pretty and soothing, with a nice mix of French and English lyrics. Max is kind of meek as a performer, but hopefully having made it to the final will give him a Blanche-like confidence boost. 9.5/10.
OK ou KO Emmy’s song isn’t at the top of my love list, but it’s excellent – soulful, smooth and perfectly suited to her powerful voice. I don’t connect with it as much as I do with some of the others, but that’s its only fault. 8/10.
Mercy I have the connection issue with this one too – I want to feel a rush of love for Madame Monsieur, but I just don’t. Still, I have to admit that everything is cool, contemporary and slick. I won’t jump up and down with excitement if Mercy goes to Eurovision, but I’ll be proud of France for sending something current and original. 8/10.
Rêve de Gamin Okay, so this was better in studio than on stage, but I didn’t think Nassi’s live was terrible by any means (the 2018 version of Daz Sampson’s Teenage Life staging worked for me). I will always be quick to defend this song though, because I think it’s awesome. The blend of dance-pop and ethnic music breaks is boss. 9.5/10.
Eva Honesty is the best policy (apparently) so here goes: THIS IS MY FAVOURITE (AND CAPITAL LETTERS ARE NECESSARY TO EXPRESS THIS)!!! Lisandro is the bomb dot com. He sings, he dances, he wins TV talent shows, and he was born and half-raised in Portugal. Hello! He’s also armed with a superb r & b-inspired track that may not be up everyone’s street but has its own personalised parking bay outside my house. 10/10.
Lisboa Jersualem It wouldn’t be a showcase of French music without something that could have been lifted from a Cirque du Soleil soundtrack (that’s a compliment, BTW). Listening to this transports me to a Parisian sidewalk where the scent of cigarette smoke and croissants intermingles seductively (or so I imagine, having never been to Paris). The song is my least favourite in the final, but I’m glad it’s there. 7/10.
Ciao I actually hated this at first, but it’s grown on me like a musical fungus and I’m now digging it. The chorus is tailor-made for an arena (and an arm-waving audience of thousands), although the verses are much less memorable (as in I literally can’t recall how they go right now). 7.5/10.
Realistically, I think half of France’s final songs are out of winning contention – in random order, Mamma Mia, Ailleurs, Rêve de Gamin and Lisboa Jerusalem. That leaves the betting faves Eva and Mercy (also winners of their respective semis) and chasing pair OK ou KO and Ciao. It’ll be interesting to see the results from the two voting parties that haven’t come into play yet – televoters and a beefed-up international jury. The fact that the ultimate decision-makers are different this time makes predicting a winner more difficult…but I would stick with Eva and Mercy as the ones to put your money on.
Lisandro, as France’s reigning Voice champ, has proven to be a televote magnet in the past, and his performance will be one of the strongest (vocally and visually) tonight. Madame Monsieur, meanwhile, are the winners in iTunes’ eyes, and because they’re not my personal favourite they’ll probably win (when I get invested in a song it’s practically a death sentence). As I said, if they do, I won’t be thrilled…but I’ll come to terms with it.
I wouldn’t be shocked to see OK ou KO or Ciao sneak up behind those two with a strong televote, but winning on that alone (if the international jury votes go mostly elsewhere) would be a tough task. The juries, feat. the likes of Armenia, Bulgaria, Israel and Sweden, might opt for the less “Frenchy” stuff á la Eva (giving it even more of a leg up), Ailleurs or Ciao, but to be honest I have no idea how they’ll distribute their points.
Alright, alright! So you want a definitive winner prediction from me, do you? Here it is: in the hope of not jinxing my numero uno Lisandro, I’m going with Madame Monsieur for the win (while still hoping and praying for Lisandro on the DL).
If you’re tuning in to the Destination final, stream it from 9pm CET here, here, via YouTube, or on TV if you’re in France, of course. And before then, hit up that comment box and tell me who you think will represent France in Lisbon!
The most impressive thing about the Czech Republic’s pre-Portugal selection process is that they’re managing to have a national final while simultaneously NOT having a national final.
I.e. there’s a line-up of songs competing against one other to win over juries and televoters, but there’s no live performances and no televised competition element. The jury votes, as I’m sure you know, have already been decided, and Mikolas Josef’s Lie To Me topped the scoreboard (somewhat surprisingly as I wouldn’t have considered it jury-friendly). Here he is alongside the five other potential – but not probable – Czech entries for 2018.
- High On Love, Debbi
- Stand Up, Doctor Victor
- We Rule This World, Eddie Stoilow
- Fly, Eva Burešova
- Lie To Me, Mikolas Josef
- Never Forget, Pavel Callta
For me, this selection is like a buffet where the options are a) five different types of unseasoned steamed vegetables, or b) a ten-tier red velvet cake topped with a spun sugar swan. Who in their right mind wouldn’t go for the cake? The cake in this case being Lie To Me, obviously. Okay, so I can understand why the song might rub some people up the wrong way…especially those opposed to blatant sexual references raunchier than Slavko’s ‘My spaceship is ready to blow, drunk in love, I’m gonna explode’. And people who are afraid of camels.
But as far as I can see, the Czech Republic will either be stuck in the semis at Eurovision again or sail to the final, based on whether Mikolas wins the public vote or not.
I’m not that inspired to review the other five songs, but in an attempt to come across as a fair and accommodating judge, I will.
Thoughts + scores
High On Love The most superior of the steamed vegetables is clearly this one. Whenever I see the title I’m reminded of this 2012 banger from Norway, which isn’t good because that was way better. But Debbi does have a pretty catchy pop song up her sleeve (in spite of some seriously annoying lyrics). 7/10.
Stand Up Stand up and leave the room? No problem, Doctor Victor. Bland rock is not my cup of tea, and this is so bland I could wallpaper my house with it. 3/10.
We Rule This World Eddie Stoilow (which is seemingly a band and not just the name of one person, go figure) have also produced something beige. WRTW would probably make the super-final at Dansk MGP, but it’s nowhere near interesting enough to hold the Czech Republic’s ESC hopes on its shoulders. 4/10.
Fly Sometimes a screamy lady ballad appeals to me, if the melody is decent and the screaming lady is screaming in the right way. But I feel like Eva is more or less moaning at me very loudly for three minutes because I ruined her favourite shirt when I did her drycleaning or something. 5/10.
Lie To Me This is the love child of Talk Dirty by Jason Derülo, Problem by Ariana Grande and Strip That Down by Liam Payne (don’t ask me how that’s possible), and I am OBSESSED. It has ‘The One’ written all over it in big, crude Sharpie letters. It could be a disaster when performed live (and there will be no camels present, which is a huge disappointment) but let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. 10/10.
Never Forget The title of this song is ironic. That’s all I’m going to say. 6/10.
Speaking of saying the bare minimum…I can give you guys a Czech prediction without using any words at all.
What do you think? Does Mikolas have it all sewn up, or is someone else going to miraculously swoop in to succeed Martina Bárta?
SELECTION SEASON CONTINUES: What’s up next?
- Saturday 3/2: Hungary (heat 3), Latvia (semi final 1), Lithuania (heat 4), Malta, Sweden (semi final 1)
- Sunday 4/2: Romania (heat 3), Switzerland
Whatever you’re watching this weekend, enjoy it…but not too much, ‘coz we’ve all got to save our energy for February and (early) March. Assuming I’ve got the energy, I’ll be on Twitter throughout the season. Follow me @EurovisionByJaz for salty comments and tea-spilling (re: songs I hate) interspersed with OTT compliments (re: songs I love). What can I say? I’m a woman of Eurovision extremes.
Until next time,
Well, it’s official: we’re heading to Lisbon, Portugal’s perennially beautiful capital city, for Eurovision 2018!
When I say ‘we’, I don’t necessarily mean ‘you and me’ – I have no idea whether you’re going or not (let me know below!), and my plans for the upcoming contest are up in the air somewhere running around with Nathan Trent. But as Eurovision fans/freaks, we collectively discovered via Tuesday’s RTP press conference that next year’s contest will be held in the MEO Arena, in Lisbon, on May 8th, 10th and 12th.
A massive shocker? Not so much. But even non-surprising news is good news, for those of us who despair during the off-season and need something Eurovisual to be developing as often as possible to feel complete. Of course, there has to be some filler between the end of one contest and the start of another…and that’s where I come in. I’m full of it (filler, that is) this post-contest, pre-NF period, which brings me to today’s post: the start of a brand new series here on EBJ that I hope *crosses fingers, touches wood and prays to the Lordi simultaneously* you guys will enjoy.
For however long I feel like it, every now and then, I’ll be choosing a country currently competing in the ESC and taking a look back at their last five entries (whether they’ve skipped years or not). After reviewing and scoring each song, I’ll finish off by rating them from worst to best on an ultra-professional scale ranging from ‘Don’t play that song again!’ to ‘That sounds good to me!’ (thanks for entering the comp with really appropriate song titles, Nicki French and Josh Dubovie…though the irony of using the name of a dreadful song to highlight great ones has not escaped me). You’ll be able to vote for your favourite of each country’s last five entries too, and share your own ranking. Got it? Awesome.
I couldn’t think of a better or more relevant way to start this Last Five Top Five series than by checking out the Eurovision evolution of reigning champs/hosts-to-be Portugal. They’ve definitely had more misses than hits of late – but which songs are which as far as I’m concerned? Keep reading to find out…and have your personal top five prepared!
- Last five participations 2011, 2012, 2014, 2015, 2017
- Last five results 18th (DNQ), 13th (DNQ), 11th (DNQ), 14th (DNQ), 1st
- Qualification record 1/5
- Winners 1
- Top ten places 1
- Last places 0
2011 | A Luta É Alegria by Homens Da Luta
I have a fair bit of respect for this song. My reasons for that are threefold: it’s multidimensional, blending traditional Portuguese sounds with folk elements for a unique finished product; it was performed totally in Portuguese, which is always welcome at Eurovision (that goes for any language other than English in this day and age, though I do draw the line at Klingon); and it’s a message song with enough quirk to make it dairy-free (i.e. it’s not cheesy). Having said all of the above, it wasn’t a highlight of the 2011 contest for me, and while it’s certainly not a big blot on Portugal’s participant history, I don’t think it’s a highlight for them either.
My score 6 points
2012 | Vida Minha by Filipa Sousa
Portugal went…well, full Portugal back in Baku, with Filipa’s fado number that came pretty close to qualifying (it finished 13th in its semi final). I’ll admit that I have to be in the right mood to really enjoy this genre, but even so, I find this entry utterly average. It’s not quite as dramatic as it needs to be, and the chorus is lacking in the essential catchy quality that you need to succeed. Once again I applaud Portugal for having sent something so true to their musical roots as a country – but like Filipa’s eventual result, Vida Minha is okay, but not great. In MY opinion, obviously.
My score 5 points
2014 | Quero Ser Tua by Suzy
Ethnopop? Now here’s a genre I tend to fall in love with at the drop of a hat (or the beat of a tribal drum) – especially when its flag is flown by someone as effervescent and enthusiastic as Suzy. Quero Ser Tua isn’t ideal for the lactose intolerant among us (meaning there is a hint of cheesiness present) and by 2014 standards, it was a little dated. But I love the fact that it managed to successfully fuse the oh-so-Portuguese sounds that we’re accustomed to with an energetic tempo and dance vibe so irresistible, it probably had Jon Ola Sand tapping his foot under the Official and Very Important EBU Executive Supervisor’s Table.
My score 8 points
2015 | Há Um Mar Que Nos Separa by Leonor Andrade
This is definitely the least stereotypically-Portuguese entry we’ve seen at Eurovision in the last five years that Portugal has competed. That’s not why I like it, but I do like it a lot. Sure, it’s not the most exciting song on the planet given that everything about it is middling – the tempo, the level of dynamism, the staging…everything, bar Leonor’s dominatrix costume which she may or may not have worn to a bunch of questionable parties since. But the melody is really nice, the chorus is sweet, and the Portuguese adds interest to what would be a bog-standard radio track in English.
My score 10 points
2017 | Amar Pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral
Finally, we come to the only truly successful song Portugal have sent to the ESC in recent times – and their most successful song ever. I understand that a lot of fans may not love this, but at the same time I feel compelled to scream ‘HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?’. It’s as spellbinding as the entire Harry Potter series, and Salvador is…well, his name doesn’t help make the perfect portmanteau that is ‘Salvadorable’ for nothing. No, Amar Pelos Dois wasn’t my favourite entry of the year, but when something makes you weep in the short space of three minutes (and not because it’s so bad that you can’t contain your sorrow) it’s seriously special.
My score 10 points
Now I’ve revealed my chronological verdicts on Portugal’s last five ESC entries, I’ll let you in on the not-so-secret secret (since I’ve already allocated my scores) of how they rate on my official Last Five Top Five scale – from ‘Don’t play that song again!’ to ‘That sounds good to me!’ (the super-scientific ends of the spectrum as explained in the intro to this post).
So it’s parabéns yet again to Salvador Sobral, whose winning song of 2017 stands head and shoulders above anything Portugal have sent to Eurovision in the past – and definitely since 2011. Would you agree with that, or do you prefer the tracks from Homens Da Luta, Filipa Sousa, Suzy or Leonor Andrade? Make your decision and see how it measures up to everyone else’s.
It’ll be interesting to see what Portugal pulls out of their hat in 2018 as their select their very first host entry. Here’s hoping they can follow Bulgaria’s lead and keep riding their (very) recent wave of victory-dance-worthy results. Who knows – maybe this time next year, Amar Pelos Dois will be second on my LFTF scale.
Speaking of which, share your worst-best Portuguese ranking for 2011-2017 in the comments, and we’ll see if we agree on anything. Just a warning for anyone who might rate the five songs in exactly the same way as I did: THIS WILL BE MY FACE.