That is what I taste and feel after a horrible, HORRIBLE mistake on my own forgetful part cost me the biggest surprise of this year’s Eurovision.
Picture this: After days of going out of my way to avoid any news on the semis so I wouldn’t find out who’d made it through before I saw the delayed telecast, today was the major one. The final was over, but I wouldn’t know the results until late tonight (Sunday). I checked my emails, covering up by hand the MyEurovision one that held all the juicy info. I checked my Facebook, doing the same thing with my news feed/ status updates. I went to this blog (where the whole thing would soon come undone) and covered up the RSS feed from the official site. What happened was: last night I’d given the blog a much-needed makeover, and had mainly returned today to rearrange the widget layout to finish it off (by the way, do you like its new look? I do!). I fiddled with them until I was satisfied, part of which involved having the RSS feed at the very top of the sidebar.
Somehow, I totally forgot about the last part, and proceeded to click back to the home page without covering the right side of my monitor, assuming that my meta was still at the top rather than the feed. Wrong. My eyes glanced over at two little words which ruined everything…
In the seconds after this happened, I was a melting pot of emotions. I was angry with myself for the slipup (‘I want to kill myself! What the f$%k!’) and also quite upset (‘Everything is ruined!’ *tears welling*). In addition I was thrilled that Lena had done it, as one of my favorites. Germany’s 2nd ever win, almost thirty years after their first! After doing so poorly in recent years (mostly undeservedly)!
The emotions are still all over the place, but after much wishing that I could turn back time or erase my memory, I have now bucked up and am trying to find the silver lining just like Norway did with that montage. (NOTE: That last sentence will make no sense if you haven’t seen the semis or read my previous posts). Of course I’ll still be glued to the telly tonight for so many reasons, several being a) To see the show – the performers turning things up a notch, the interval acts, a Rybak reprise and more; b) To watch the Big 4 and Norway work it for the first time, knowing that Lena, the same age as me and probably with no clue of what was to come, would be the champ; and c) Because the winner isn’t the only one that matters. Who knows how the voting panned out? Maybe the Germans didn’t have it all the way. Maybe there was a bun fight in full swing for the top five spots? Who made the top ten? Who came last? There are so many questions and I am determined to answer them with as much joy as possible. I can’t forget what I saw, but I can embrace it.
Never a regret, always a lesson, say Rihanna and her tattoo artist. Sure, they were referring to domestic violence, but nonetheless, I’ve taken heed. This has never happened to me before, and you know what? Now I’ve learned, and it will NEVER. HAPPEN. TO. ME. AGAIN!