First things first: I know Eurovision ended (what feels like) months ago, and that “awards ceremonies” like this should have too. But if you’re a regular EBJ reader (WHAT A LEGEND) then you’ll be familiar with my lack of multitasking skills, and therefore my inability to blog when other aspects of life get busy.
But my motto is ‘better late than never’, and I do like to (eventually) finish what I start. So at last, here’s the third and final episode of the 2018 EBJEEs – brought to you before I get stuck into some serious off-season filler material. Today’s show is all about…well, Lisbon’s ESC show, as well as the results revealed at the end of it. If you missed me handing out trophies for The Artists + Songs and The Performances, update yourself and then come back to see what I (and you – there’s still a few People’s Choice Awards to go) thought was worthy of an accolade when it comes to the hosts, qualifiers, non-qualifiers, final scoreboard positions and more.
And, if you agree or disagree with literally anything, tell me in the comments!
Winner Filomena Cautela
The reason I decided this award should continue to be People’s Choice in 2018 was not because I wanted to see who’d win it based on public opinion – it’s because I wanted to see how much of an Alexander-Rybak-in-Moscow-style win it would give to Filomena. Providing some comic relief from the cringe that was the hosts’ script, she may not have been up there with the Anke Engelkes and Petra Medes of the contest MC world…but Filomena was definitely the star attraction of the Real Housewives of Lisbon.
Winner SuRie’s stage invasion Honourable Mention/s Australia loses the televote, Sweden finishes 2nd with the juries…then 23rd with the public
You guys chose SuRie’s performance – well, the part of it that was way more memorable than intended, anyway – as the jaw-dropper of jaw-droppers for 2018, and I’m not about to argue. For the second year running at the ESC, an absolute queen was interrupted while doing her thing. Fortunately (like Jamala), SuRie carried on afterwards like nothing had happened. The stage invasion actually seemed to put more energy and fight into her than she’d had during her uneventful initial few minutes.
Winner Czech Republic Honourable Mention/s Iceland, Ukraine
Confession: At this point, I can barely remember any of the postcards. It has been a while since I’ve seen them, but at the end of the day I just don’t think they were very memorable. I do remember, however, Mikolas Josef jumping around looking like a living, breathing Mardi Gras float (and/or a piñata) – and to be honest, totally pulling it off. That in itself deserves an award.
Winner Switzerland Honourable Mention/s Armenia, Latvia
Armenia’s DNQ might have hurt me more, but in the wake of the semi final performances I was definitely more surprised that Switzerland didn’t squeeze through. Zibbz nailed Stones on the night, and I think they knew it – so much so that Corinne’s reaction to their non-qualification was apparently as iconic as Moran Mazor’s in 2013 (only with fewer tears and more rage).
Winner Ireland Honourable Mention/s Serbia
After four years of being stuck in the semis, I did not think the luck of the Irish would get the Emerald Isle to the final this time around either. In fact, right up until I saw Ryan perform Together live – and heard the crowd reaction to his dancers – I was convinced Ireland wasn’t going anywhere. What can I say? Sometimes you’re more than happy to stand corrected.
Winner Sweden Honourable Mention/s Cyprus, Czech Republic
Forget the lack of televoting love for the Swedes this year – regardless of that, they remain one of the most successful Eurovision countries of the 2010s, and if you thought there was any chance Benjamin Ingrosso wouldn’t qualify this year for Sweden, you must have been off your fika. I can’t see another 2010 disgrace being allowed while Christer Björkman is in command.
Winner Iceland Honourable Mention/s Macedonia, San Marino
Poor Iceland didn’t have a chance this year, and we all knew it (I don’t know if Ari knew it and decided to make the most of the experience despite that or not). A song like Our Choice would have struggled in 1995, so it was beyond stale in 2018 – a problem not shared by Paper last year, and that didn’t make it through either. Here’s hoping Iceland can break their DNQ streak in Israel.
Winner Czech Republic’s 6th place Honourable Mention/s Cyprus’ 2nd place
I may have gushed over the Czech 2017-2018 glow-up on multiple occasions, but can it ever be discussed enough? When you come out of nowhere with such an iconic, contemporary hit-potential BANGER, you deserve to hit the heights of the top 10 for sure. A spot in the top 5 would have been preferable for Lie To Me, but for a country with a previous PB of dead last in the final, 6th on the Saturday night is an amazing outcome.
Winner Australia’s 20th place Honourable Mention/s Portugal’s 26th place
I’ve admitted before that Jess Mauboy’s semi performance was far stronger than the final version (DAMMIT) but I will never understand how we lost the televote, which led to that unfortunate, could-be-worse-but-still-ain’t-good 20th. If Isaiah managed to make the top 10, Jess should have at least been on the left-hand side of the scoreboard! The fact that she wasn’t even close is a tragedy Shakespeare could have penned a play about.
Winner Spain’s 23rd place Honourable Mention/s Israel’s 1st place
The problem with Spain using Operación Triunfo to select their Eurovision entry this year was that everyone was too busy shipping Alfred and Amaia to think about choosing a song that would thrive in an international song contest. The pair didn’t have months to win over Europe with their love story – they only had three minutes, and it was never going to be enough.
Winner Italy’s 5th place Honourable Mention/s Australia’s 20th place
I’m glad to find out that I’m not alone in my still-lingering shock over Italy’s placing. It’s not that I think it was undeserved – if you read my 2018 reviews, you’ll remember that I grew to love Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente (around about the same time I learnt how to spell it properly). I just thought Italy was no more or no less impressive than France live on stage at the final, and I expected both to finish in that 10th-15th range. But Eurovision curveballs are a big thing these days, so maybe it was so unlikely I should have seen it coming.
That’s it – the 2018 EBJEEs are finally done and dusted! Did your favourites take home the People’s Choice Awards? Which parts of Lisbon’s show and results would score these trophies if you were in charge?
God kväll good, national-final-watching people! I hope you’re having a fun NF season so far, despite it turning out to be one where pre-show faves do not follow through. This is the second Super Saturday proudly brought to us by February, and there’s so much happening I’m going to have to cut off my own introductory ramble and get on with chatting about my personal highlights ASAP.
Here’s everything going down this evening:
- Denmark (Dansk Melodi Grand Prix final)
- Estonia (Eesti Laul semi 1)
- Hungary (A Dal semi 1)
- Iceland (Söngvakeppnin semi 1)
- Italy (Sanremo final)
- Latvia (Supernova semi 2)
- Lithuania (Eurovizija heat 5)
- Sweden (Melodifestivalen semi 2)
- Ukraine (Vidbir semi 1)
Whew! The superhuman multi-taskers among us are rejoicing right now as they cook a six-course dinner, knit a sweater and recite Shakespeare simultaneously. You can find all of the streaming links to tonight’s shows right here courtesy of Wiwibloggs (bless their little sequined socks).
Surprise, surprise – my plans involve tuning in to Melfest. But in this post, I’m talking about some other stuff too (just not all of the above because I don’t want to put your will to live to the test). The latest song selection news from Eurovision HQ + Dansk MGP + that Swedish semi = what you’re (hopefully) about to read. Sit back, relax and enjoy…or hyperventilate with rage when I declare undying love for music you hate and bitch about music you love.
Malta chose to break a taboo (HA HA HA not) last weekend by choosing Christabelle – apparently 4th time’s the charm – to go to Eurovision. Her performance was pretty kitchen sink (as in, every “firework” Salvador Sobral could possibly frown upon was thrown in to up the song’s ante) but there’s potential in Taboo itself, and enough time pre-Portugal to bring the staging more in line with…whatever the heck the song is trying to say (I can’t say I got the mental health message without explanation, but DID YOU SEE THE PANTHER?!?).
Over in Sweden – Karlstad, specifically – Melodifestivalen kicked off in uncharacteristically mediocre style, I’m sad to say (scroll down to see if I think things are looking up this week). Shocking nobody, John Lundvik (feat. fire curtain) and Benjamin Ingrosso (feat. one of the greatest stage setups in entertainment history – Malta, take note) went direkt to Friends Arena. Renaida and Sigrid Bernson will fight for a final place at Andra Chansen. Grattis, guys!
It was bound to be one of the betting front-runners that won in Switzerland – and unfortunately for Alejandro Reyes (my personal pick), it was Zibbz – the grungier doppelgangers of Madame Monsieur – with Stones. I can’t fault them even though I was Team Compass, so that’s a good sign. It’s still too early to tell how the brother-sister duo will do in a more competitive environment than the six-song Entscheidungsshow.
The United Kingdom sacrificed legendary Asanda to the NF favourite gods and opted to send SuRie’s Storm to the ESC instead. My choice would have been Liam and Astronaut, so I wouldn’t have been totally thrilled anyway…but I wish Asanda’s vocal issues (easily fixable by letting her stand still for five seconds) could have been overlooked. Legends would have been LIT in Lisbon. Storm, on the other hand, is a little bit wallpaper. Competent and kind of catchy, yes – but not exactly a voting sponge at this stage (i.e. not likely to suck up the points it needs to succeed).
Malta, Switzerland and the UK now join Albania, the Czech Republic, France and Spain in the exclusive group of 2018 entries finalised so far. Head over to my Instagram stories to check out my top 7 while it lasts (@eurovisionbyjaz, of course) and let me know how your current ranking compares in the comments.
I always get excited about DMGP, despite the fact that it’s usually vanilla when compared to the sprinkle-encrusted sundaes delivered by the likes of Estonia, Hungary and Sweden (normally). I guess even average Scandipop has a way with me – and besides, there’s always something above-average ready to represent Denmark (it just never actually wins the right to do so).
The ten-strong line-up for DMGP 2018 looks like this:
- Riot, Ditte Marie
- Starlight, Anna Ritsmar
- Higher Ground, Rasmussen
- Boys On Girls, Sannie
- Angels To My Battlefield, Sandra
- Unfound, Lasse Meling
- Standing Up For Love, CARLSEN
- Signals, Karui
- Holder Fast I Ingenting, Rikke Ganer-Tolsøe
- Music For The Road, Albin Fredy
For me, 2017>2018 (there’s a lot of like-worthy stuff this year, whereas I loved multiple tracks in 2017) but I’ve seen disagreement on that already. Artist-wise, we’re looking at a few familiar faces (Ditte Marie, Albin Fredy), a 90s hitmaker in Sannie, and someone who doesn’t look old enough to be awake past 7pm, let alone gunning to go to Eurovision (that’s Anna).
I’ll quickly make my feelings clear re: the songs that didn’t make my top 3 before getting into those podium places, for anyone interested…
Starlight Seriously, how old is Anna? I feel like we should be questioning Denmark’s child labour laws every time I see her. Song-wise, she’s offering something cutesy and twee that somehow irritates me and soothes me at the same time. It could do very well tonight. 7.5/10.
Boys On Girls I wanted to feel intense 90s nostalgia listening to this, but Sannie a.k.a. Whigfield let me down a little. There’s a couple of DMGP songs weakened by anti-climactic, overly-repetitive choruses, and this is a prime example. 7/10.
Angels To My Battlefield This isn’t terrible, but it is the most forgettable song of the lot. How it’s in the top half of the odds, I have no idea (maybe it’s going to win and make my jaw hit the floor á la Soldiers of Love. Eek). 5/10.
Unfound Lasse is to DMGP what Max Cinnamon was to Destination Eurovision: adorable and armed with a guitar. This is a super-cute Shawn Mendes-esque track that’s not likely to go anywhere (but I will have a bop for one in my bedroom while I watch it being performed). 8.5/10.
Standing Up For Love How freaking Danish is this?!? CARLSEN manage to be both the female version of Lighthouse X and one of Europe’s many O’G3NE tribute acts, and if there were ever a song that screams ‘Denmark at Eurovision 90% of the time!’ Standing Up For Love is it. I want to hate it, but I kind of love it. Dammit. 9/10.
Holder Fast I Igenting And here’s the token Danish-language song that DMGP is not complete without – think Tæt På Mine Drømme (2015), To Stjerner (2016) and Vesterbro (2017). Unfortunately, Rikke’s song is not nearly as good as those were/are. It’s beige. 6/10.
Music For The Road Just when we thought Avicii’s Hey Brother was no longer a musical inspiration to anyone, enter Albin! It’s hard to resist the infectious country twang and catchy chorus he’s provided us with. 8/10.
And now, having saved the best (as far as I’m concerned) until last…
My top 3
Signals Did I love this instantly because it reminds me of this? Maybe, but regardless, something so unconventional (for Denmark) popping up here (in Denmark) threw me in a good way. Solange Knowles could come out with Signals and nobody would raise an eyebrow. There’s no way it’s winning or even coming close though. The musical territory is too unsafe for Denmark. 9.5/10.
Riot Ditte Marie has delivered a third pop banger to DMGP’s doorstep, after 2011’s 25 Hours A Day (with Le Freak) and 2012’s Overflow. Okay, so Riot isn’t breaking any genre boundaries, but it’s slick and catchy, and makes you want to move (not out of the room so you can’t hear it any more). The title is repeated a hundred times too many throughout, but I can forgive that. 9/10.
Higher Ground Roger Pontare has possessed Rasmussen, right? Except Rasmussen has more hair on his face than Roger has on his head. This song is majestic, atmospheric…and yeah, about a decade or so too late to be on-trend at Eurovision. But I wouldn’t be mad if Denmark sent it in Lisbon’s direction. 8.5/10.
Predicting the super finalists + the winner
I am SO BAD at calling DMGP, it’s become a tradition for me to be spectacularly wrong. So here we go again!
In random order, my prediction for the super final – in which the top three songs post-vote face off against each other FTW – is Anna Ritsmar, Rasmussen and CARLSEN. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, bet any money on this.
When it comes to the ultimate winner, I was going to go with Anna, but then I remembered the Anne Gadegaard Incident. Will the folksy pop number get its revenge this time? I’m not sure. Rasmussen is the one I think people would be most satisfied with, so that’s probably out. CARLSEN are so stereotypically Denmark-goes-to-Eurovision that they shouldn’t be underestimated.
So CARLSEN it is! *prepares for prediction fail no. 4975*
Now, if you’re still awake, let’s switch Scandinavian countries.
Ja, it’s true – Melfest got off to a less-than-impressive start last week. But this second deltävling is shaping up to be a little (if not a lot) better. At this rate we’ll be back to expected levels of epic by the time the roadshow hits Örnsköldsvik…OR WILL WE?? Insert dramatic soap opera cliffhanger music here and keep on wondering.
Here’s this week’s lucky seven:
- Shuffla, Samir & Viktor
- Allting Som Vi Sa, Ida Redig
- Det Finns En Väg, Jonas Gardell
- In My Cabana, Margaret
- Titta Vi Flyger, Stiko Per Larsson
- Songburning, Mimi Werner
- Last Breath, LIAMOO
There are three names that really stand out here: Samir & Viktor, who are always loveable (bada nakna or not) and might have their best chance yet of going to Eurovision; Margaret, who missed out on representing Poland in 2016 with the iconic Cool Me Down; and LIAMOO, who won Swedish Idol in 2016 (coincidentally covering Cool Me Down along the way). Mimi Werner, too, is worth nothing as a fan fave who didn’t quite make the Andra Chansen grade on her last attempt.
The big question is – in a parallel universe where I have a massively inflated ego – are any of those guys my favourites of this heat? As Ace Wilder would say: don’t worry, it’s alright. I’m about to tell you.
My top 4
Last Breath Just as I knew Benjamin Ingrosso would be my favourite in heat 1, I was sure LIAMOO would top my ranking for heat 2. My pre-established fangirling for the guy makes me biased, I know, but in all honesty I am digging (the snippet of) Last Breath like I’m looking for buried treasure. Clearly rap doesn’t turn me off.
In My Cabana I can’t believe I’m vouching for a song staged using a toilet, but here we are. This is exactly what I was expecting it to be – a.k.a. the love child of Cool Me Down and Camilla Cabello’s Havana. Do I have a problem with that? Umm, no.
Shuffla Not a fan of Groupie? Have no desire to Bada Nakna? Well, you might still enjoy Shuffla, because it’s totally different to Samir & Viktor’s previous Melfest entries. There is trumpets, dance beats aplenty and a 1920s undertone that adds interest. I approve.
Songburning TBH, Mimi is here by default since the other three songs in this heat are pretty dire. That doesn’t mean Songburning has no redeeming features though – it’s just as charming as Ain’t No Good, actually, if the snippet is any indication. (Country) girl power!
So, who’s going direkt til final? Samir & Viktor + LIAMOO. As much as I’d like LIAMOO to prove his favourite status right by winning this semi, I suspect Samir & Viktor might do the deed instead – but he should be safely in the final anyway.
And who’s off to Andra Chansen? Margaret + Mimi. This is what I’m hoping, at least. If anyone else slips in to an AC slot it will be Ida Redig, but I’m not convinced Allting Som Vi Sa has enough of an x factor to move beyond 5th place. There is a clear top 4 here in my eyes.
What do you think? Tell me if you agree with my Melfest guesses – or if we’ll have to agree to disagree – in the comments.
NF UPDATE: What’s next?
- 11/2 Romania (Selecția Națională semi 4)
- 13/2 Israel (Next Star final)
- 16/2 Belarus (Eurofest final), San Marino (1in360 night 2)
But let’s deal with the craziness of tonight first…
THAT IS IT!!! I’m done – and to think I only discussed two of the 17 000 shows taking place tonight. I’m obviously all about the Scandis at the moment, but I fully respect your right to turn elsewhere for your NF fix. Let’s meet up on Twitter later (I’m @EurovisionByJaz, ICYMI) to compare notes and debrief after result-induced traumas. In the meantime, if you have anything to say about this Super Saturday, the EBJ comment box is always open!
Until NEXT Super Saturday (or a possible sneaky Valentine’s Day post…whichever comes first),