Retrospective reviews: S to U

By Jaz, June 27, 2010

SERBIA – Ovo Je Balkan – Milan Stankovic

Gimmick: The fringe.; Reminds me of: Ledina Celo’s Tomorrow I Go.

Pros: Everything. Along with Turkey, this is my number one song of 2010. Milan’s hot hot hot and I would marry him if he asked me based on looks alone. Is he gay? Maybe. It’s irrelevant. I just adore every single element of this song, particularly the traditional Serbian instrumental bits which get me off the couch and on the floor faster than the first strains of the Macarena. If this is indeed the Balkans, then I want to be there!; Cons: Do you have to ask?

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 9.5; Average score: 9. 8

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 13^th

SLOVAKIA – Horehronie – Kristina Pelakova

Gimmick: No.; Reminds me of: Mandy Moore’s In My Pocket.

Pros: Another successful fusion of ethnic and contemporary sounds. So catchy. I love the nature theme which was echoed in the choice of costume.; Cons: Kristina’s vocals were…well, bad. I think she’s a Britney Spears. Looks good, dances good, but just doesn’t cut it sans miming.

I give the vocalist: 5; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 9.5; Average score: 8.2

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 33^rd

SLOVENIA – Narodnozabavni Rock – Ansambel Zlindra & Kalamari

Gimmick: The folk and the rock.; Reminds me of: Fortunately nothing I’ve ever heard before in my life.

Pros: I like the folk bits – ON THEIR OWN. I like the rock bits – ON THEIR OWN. However…; Cons: …they just don’t go together in an aurally pleasing way. Like oil and water and folk and rock, so were Slovenia and their chances of going to the final in 2010.

I give the vocalist: 9; I give the song: 5; I give the staging: 5; Average score: 6.3

Points from me based on song: 5

Actual placing: 37^th

SPAIN – Algo Pequenito (Something Tiny) – Daniel Diges

Gimmick: Cirque du Spagna! If that makes any sense.; Reminds me of: That’s Amoré.

Pros: Like Ik Ben Verliefd takes you to a carnival, this whisks you off to the circus. I think they used that theme to their advantage in the staging. Jimmy Jump made the whole thing a ‘circus’ too – cheers Jimmy! Daniel has a stellar live sound that goes well with the whimsical waltz of the song.; Cons: I like this song because of all the things it invokes for me…but I don’t love it. It’s a bit too repetitive.

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 7.5; I give the staging: 9; Average score: 8.8

Points from me based on song: 8-or-10.

Actual placing: 15^th

SWEDEN – This Is My Life – Anna Bergendahl

Gimmick: The costume mullet (fancy soiree on top, gym class on the bottom).; Reminds me of: B*Witched’s Blame It On The Weatherman. Yes, I own that album.

Pros: If there was any song that didn’t make the final and cause me devastation that wasn’t Croatia, it was Sweden. Atypical of the Scandinavians who seem to constantly attempt to recapture the ABBA winning essence, this song is simple, slow and soulful. I wasn’t enamored with it at first, but it’s one of those that just grew on me every time I heard it. I really like Anna’s voice too – breathy and unique.; Cons: This song sounds brilliant on the CD, but I don’t think it worked as well in the arena. The performance wasn’t as dynamic as it had the potential to be either.

I give the vocalist: 9; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 8.5; Average score: 9.2

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 26^th

SWITZERLAND – I’ Pleut De L’or – Michael von der Heide

Gimmick: Nah.; Reminds me of: The soundtrack of some early ‘80s fantasy film.

Pros: What a time warp! I wasn’t alive in the 1980’s but I feel like I am when I hear this! I love ‘80s music so that’s a plus for me. There’s something about the choruses of this that I like. There’s also something about that gold jacket that I like.; Cons: Apart from a minor key change at the end, this stays on the same level throughout, so it does get monotonous. And as cute as Michael is in a pixie man-child (or manboy if you ask Eric Saade) kind of way…he simultaneously frightens me.

I give the vocalist: 9; I give the song: 8; I give the staging: 5; Average score: 7.3

Points from me based on song: 8

Actual placing: 38^th (last due to =29^th between Poland + Lithuania)

TURKEY – We Could Be The Same – MaNga

Gimmick: It’s Turkey! As if they need one to kick arse!; Reminds me of: Nothing. And that’s why it’s a cracker.

Pros: My number one song (with Serbia) for 2010. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I seem to be attracted to everything Turkey dishes up for Eurovision and this was no exception. It is a fine-tuned balance of rock and pop and traditional Turkish elements, and I think it, when accompanied by pyrotechnics and choreography, was the one song that almost cost the Telenor Group millions by coming so close to lifting the roof off the arena and catapulting it off into the Norwegian sky. Vocals were on the money, costumes were slick. It was all there – the X-factor.; Cons: Yeah right.

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 10; Average score: 10

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 2^nd

UKRAINE – Sweet People – Alyosha

Gimmick: Third time lucky.; Reminds me of: the world post-apocalypse.

Pros: This has great lyrics, especially for a message song, and it build up well. Alyosha’s accent doesn’t come through too strongly when she’s singing, so you can understand the words of the lament. The musical parts are strong and sounds well thought through. The costume was unusual but striking. All in all, a good soft-rock effort from Ukraine which is very different from their in-your-face 2009 entry – perhaps a welcome change?; Cons: There’s nothing I can put my finger on that is particularly bad about this. But I know I don’t love it, and there’s no way it makes my top ten.

I give the vocalist: 9.5; I give the song: 8; I give the staging: 10; Average score: 9.2

Points from me based on song: 8

Actual placing: 10^th

UNITED KINGDOM – That Sounds Good To Me – Josh Dubovie

Gimmick: Being the musical offspring of Stock and Waterman.; Reminds me of: nothing. Because I’ve never heard anything this bad.

Pros: Josh is the only positive. He’s such a talented young guy with a great look and personality – I can see him in the West End for sure. He worked the Oslo stage with great enthusiasm.; Cons: I feel very sorry for him for the three minutes of cringe-tastic awfulness that were thrust upon him. We all know that no, it doesn’t sound good to me or anyone for that matter (I had to say it!). It’s bad. I bet Aitken is thanking his lucky stars that he was missing from the famous trio who somehow deemed this a good song. I hope Josh recovers from his inevitable last place and gets to sing the songs her deserves.

I give the vocalist: 9; I give the song: 1; I give the staging: 9; Average score: 6.3

Points from me based on song: 1

Actual placing: 25^th

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