Retrospective reviews: G to L

By Jaz, June 25, 2010

GERMANY – Satellite – Lena

Gimmick: The voice; Reminds me of: Amy MacDonald’s This Is The Life. Or anything fast by Kate Nash.

Pros: This really stood out from the rest – perhaps the reason it won. From start to finish it is pure pop perfection. Lena’s quirky intonations make it what it is as a package – if you’ve listened to Jennifer Braun’s ballad version, you’ll see how it lacks so much in comparison (plus, the words “I bought new underwear…” sound rather creepy in that form). THE sing-along song of the Eurovision year; Cons: Lena’s dress could have been a little more elaborate. Some silver for the satellite would have tickled my fancy.

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 8; Average score: 9.3

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 1^st (hooray for Germany!)

GEORGIA – Shine – Sofia Nizharadze

Gimmick: Who knows?; Reminds me of: Delta’s I Can’t Break It To My Heart.

Pros: Sophia’s voice is excellent in the flesh, by which I mean on live TV. The song is well thought out and melodious – I especially love the line “wipe the dust off your love and let it shine”; Cons: This is another one that I wanted to rave about but just couldn’t because there was something missing. I have no idea what. I like it a lot….but I couldn’t profess undying love to it. Okay, maybe if my life depended on it I could. But apart from that…

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 7.5; I give the staging: 9; Average score: 8.8

Points from me based on song: Another 7-or-8.

Actual placing: 9^th

GREECE – OPA! – Giorgos Alkaios & Friends

Gimmick: Greek stereotype; Reminds me of: My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Pros: I cannot stress enough just how very Greek this is. Don’t get me wrong, all you Grecians out there – it’s a compliment. I admire this formula that Greece brings to Eurovision every year and makes the top ten with it every year – an up tempo fusion of modern pop sounds and ethnic counterparts. Opa indeed! Extra points for the Casio conclusion and the light-up drums.; Cons: I swear I’ve lost kilos dancing to this – therefore there are no cons.

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 9.5; I give the staging: 9.5; Average score: 9.7

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 8^th

ICELAND – Je Ne Sais Quoi – Hera Bjork

Gimmick: Backing singer turned main attraction.; Reminds me of: Euroband’s This Is My Life. You knew I was going to say that, didn’t you? What can I say – Iceland rocks dance muzak!

Pros: Anything that I can’t resist dancing to goes straight to my good books. Je ne sais quoi indeed! Hera also has awesome live vocals.; Cons: I think she needed some back up dancers, since she needed to focus on the singing part. It would have added another extra something. Clichéd lyrics also bother me, as you must know by now.

I give the vocalist: 10; I give the song: 8.5; I give the staging: 7; Average score: 8.5

Points from me based on song: 10

Actual placing: 19^th

IRELAND – It’s For You – Niamh Kavanagh

Gimmick: The return of a winner.; Reminds me of: Kate DeAraugo’s Maybe Tonight.

Pros: It certainly reeks of Ireland – a sentimental power ballad with interludes of flute (is it a flute?) – so in that, it’s a great representation of the most successful country in ESC history. Niamh is older and slightly more rotund (aren’t we all!) but she looked luminous onstage with her beautiful red hair that I want, so happy to be there. And she sang well considering she was rumored to be suffering from a throat ailment at the time. Just her luck.; Cons: This just isn’t half as good as In Your Eyes, Niamh’s crowning glory.

I give the vocalist: 8.5; I give the song: 6; I give the staging: 6.5; Average score: 7.2

Points from me based on song: 6

Actual placing: 23^rd

ISRAEL – Milim – Harel Skaat

Gimmick: Nada.; Reminds me of: Musical excellence (ha!).

Pros: Hot guy? Check. Talented hot guy? Mmm hmm. Talented hot guy singing beautiful song that makes me want to vote until I develop a RSI? BINGO!; Cons: Nope. Although….Harel the Hunk was a little crackly on the money note. But I forgive him.

I give the vocalist: 9; I give the song: 10; I give the staging: 9; Average score: 9.3

Points from me based on song: 12

Actual placing: 14^th

LATVIA – What For? (Only Mr. God Knows Why) – Aisha

Gimmick: Nein.; Reminds me of: Gospel choir songs.

Pros: I like the way everything fits – the music and lyrics are suitably mournful and longing for Aisha’s little doll self to proclaim. The accordion fades in nicely too.; Cons: It’s a plodder. Plod, plod, plod with no chance of a spontaneous hop, skip or jump to liven things up a tad. And the lyrics are so weird! I just don’t get it. God’s phone is out of range? Aisha knows something we don’t.

I give the vocalist: 8.5; I give the song: 7.5; I give the staging: 6; Average score: 7.3

Points from me based on song: 6

Actual placing: 36^th

LITHUANIA – Eastern European Funk – InCulto

Gimmick: A cappella intro and sequined hotpants (!); Reminds me of: John Butler Trio’s Funky Tonight, and/or Cat Empire.

Pros: So much fun! This is an example of the good novelty entry, as opposed to the truly crap version. It doesn’t pretend to be serious, therefore there is no pretentiousness about it. Very catchy in verse and chorus.; Cons: The presentation could have been a little more dynamic.

I give the vocalists: 10; I give the song: 8.5; I give the staging: 7.5; Average score: 8.7

Points from me based on song: 8-or-10.

Actual placing: =29^th

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