All #together now…some quick predictions for JESC 2014!

O, JESC, why art thou so hard to predict? Every November I find myself tearing my hair out with indecision over who’s going to end up where on the scoreboard, and I’m finding it more and more difficult to disguise the resulting bald patches.

This prediction dilemma isn’t something that tends to happen with adult Eurovision, despite the fact that there are a bajillion more entries to contend with. Anyone with an explanation for this phenomenon, please call me ASAP on 1800-NO-CLUE. Then sit back, relax and read through the following extra-quick (I’m a little time-poor at the moment) and extra-questionable predictions for Malta 2014 – due to begin in a matter of hours! Hashtag unbelievablebecauseKyivseemslikeyesterday.

Not even a real crystal ball would help me now...

Not even a real crystal ball would help me now…

Let’s start with a few guesses as to which countries will have the…

…best staging – Armenia, Belarus, Ukraine (Armenia and Ukraine are never to be underestimated when it comes to putting on a show, and with all the fantasy/falcon imagery Belarus has to work with, they wouldn’t want to disappoint.)
…best vocals – Georgia, Italy, Malta, Russia, Serbia (This is THE year for epic vocalists – not to say there aren’t any weak links. I expect the best of the best to come from Georgia as usual; Italy, Malta and Russia, all of whom have big ballads that will bomb without top-notch vocals to set them off; and Serbia, because Emilija’s been down the talent show route relying on her voice alone, and I don’t reckon she’s got the ability to sing bum notes.)
…best costumes – Armenia, Belarus, Sweden (Armenia’s are guaranteed to be bright and fun, and I’ve seen snapshots of the Belarusian feather-fest and Sweden’s glitter extravaganza, and I liked what I saw.)
…total package – Armenia, Belarus, Bulgaria (So long as Bulgaria’s Krisia is no longer suffering from the world’s most inconvenient throat infection, I expect everything you can hear and see with these three entries to be on point.)


Now, who’s going to be…

…a positive surprise – Ukraine (I know not everyone’s anti-Sympho-Nick, but plenty of people aren’t getting it. Just wait and see, though, haters…I think these girls might impress you and do a lot better than you’re giving them credit for. Remember the three magic words: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE UKRAINE!)
…a negative surprise – Georgia (In terms of a normally well-performing country failing for the first time, I think Georgia could be The One. I just don’t see Happy Day having enough to offer to get it raking in the points.)
…the winner – Armenia, Cyprus, Malta, Ukraine (This is the part I was dreading most. Apart from the insistence of press on the ground in Malta who believe JESC’s the host country’s for the taking, I’ve got nothing. This competition is still wide open, folks! Nevertheless, I’ll have a stab and say: Armenia, who have an irresistible ethno-pop entry that gives me those triumphant vibes; Cyprus, who need a lot to go right for Sophia to win but who aren’t out of contention by any means; Malta, based on those insistent claims from the peeps who’ve seen rehearsals; and Ukraine, as somewhat of a dark horse prediction…albeit a dark horse dressed in a blinged-up blue nightgown.)
…the loser – Croatia, Montenegro, San Marino (It’s GOT to be one of these three, right? None of them are my personal losers, but I can see any of them, particularly Croatia and San Marino, just doing nothing.)


Finally, here’s my guess at what the scoreboard will look like at the end of the evening:

1. Malta
2. Ukraine
3. Armenia
4. Bulgaria
5. Cyprus
6. Russia
7. Belarus
8. Netherlands
9. Georgia
10. Serbia
11. Slovenia
12. Sweden
13. Italy
14. Montenegro
15. San Marino
16. Croatia

Anyone who’s made a full scoreboard prediction and gets it at least 50% right, deserves a medal in my opinion. Psychics not included.

Well, that’s all I have time for. I’m sorry if this post seems rushed, but that’s because it was rushed. I’ve got a super busy weekend ahead of me – so much so, I won’t be watching JESC live tonight *insert sadface here*. Instead, I’ll be watching on actual television tomorrow night when we in Australia get the (slightly, by past standards) delayed broadcast, complete with our own commentators. That’s after I’ve been gallivanting around all day, which in turn is after I’ve spent tonight dancing up a storm at my very first Euroclub (more on that to come next week, fingers crossed). So, as I head off to cover myself in PVA glue and dive into a swimming pool full of glitter in preparation, I wish you fun times watching Junior Eurovision 2014. May the show be epic, may the voting be nail-biting, and may the best song win!

EBJ Signature


5 Responses to “All #together now…some quick predictions for JESC 2014!”

  1. Nick P.

    Jaz! The show was UH-MAY-ZING! It really raised the bar, not only for JESC but ESC! The organizers for Vienna are going to have a hard time topping, not only Copenhagen, but Malta. All the performers helped the show out big time by performing so well. Italy took us to CHURCH with all that soulfulness in his voice. I can see why he won, even if I’m not a fan of the song. Poor Croatia; she looked adorable and the song was pretty good, but it wasn’t her night. Ukraine also let me down a bit. Something was off about the live performance.
    My standouts on the night were Sweden (incredibly well-rounded, especially the live performance, which was massively improved since LMF), Montenegro (kiddie-pop with a huge dash of charm!), and Armenia (the total all-rounder and probably my winner), with Serbia, Slovenia, and the Netherlands close behind. Now, it’s time to look forward to NF season! 😀

    P.S. This happened and I am not over it yet.

    Basically, I wrote this little thing about 2014, sent it to MadCraft and they shared it! I’m so happy right now. 🙂


    • Jaz

      Nick! This wasn’t my favourite JESC (song-wise or show-wise) but it was pretty darn good. It’s gonna be a tough decision for the panel of the Shipbuilding Makeover of the Year Awards (that’s a thing, right?) choosing between Copenhagen and Malta, that’s for sure.

      Ukraine weren’t as perfecto as I was hoping, but I thought they’d improved sooooo dramatically since the NF (as Ukraine always does) that the girls didn’t met me down.

      I enjoyed Sweden too! Julia was one of the weaker vocalists of the night, but next to poor Josie she sounded incredible. And it’s true – another great leap from NF to the actual show in terms of performance and charisma etc. And I don’t care what people are saying about bringing ABBA back…those glittery outfits were BOSS. #want.

      Woohoo for your brush with Madcraft!! I read your blog post and it was really something. TBH I felt kind of…moved after it!! I didn’t know where to start with a comment, but I will try ASAP 🙂 Here’s to the power of (Eurovision-related) music!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nick P.

        Yes, it’ll be such a hard choice! I think id give it to Copenhagen, since they had more to do and less to start with. But both teams were amazing.

        Ooh, yeah, Ukraine was a little rough. As was Sweden, but I liked the song enough to look past that. xD And omg, the outfits were totally on point. SO glam hippie.

        And aww, I’m so pleased that you were moved by it (hopefully that’s a good thing 😛 ). Thanks for the future attempt to comment. I’ll be looking out for it. 😉 And a final YES to that last point. “Power to the people, oh eh eh…” 😀



Start the Eurovision conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: