I’m (attempting) to make my mind up: My top 39, two months after Malmö

Yes, you read that title correctly. It has been just over two months since the final of Eurovision 2013, and that means it’s also been two months since my hopes of having an unexpected winner were destroyed by a girl with bed hair and bare feet, and two months since we were all plunged into a deep depression at the over-ness of it all. What with that anniversary and the revised dates of the 2014 contest, there isn’t a mahusive wait until Copenhagen/miscellaneous Danish city attempts to outdo the pared-back but still impressive spectacle put on by Sweden in May. So…yay!!

Two months, or eight weeks as I like to call it on special occasions, is a time period in which opinions can change drastically, as I discovered when I decided to redo my top 39 recently. Up until then, I’d only done it once, and to be accurate that was a little while before Eurovision. All this time later, I was über curious to see how extra listens and seeing the performances had changed my rankings, and the outcome was so shocking and astounding that I felt compelled to show it to y’all. So here is my revised top 39 for 2013, complete with explanations of the most WTF shifts in opinion. Keep in mind as you read it that I may have been exaggerating when I used the words ‘shocking’ and ‘astounding’, and let me know below which entries have shot up or come crashing down in your eyes (or ears).


 My new and improved top ten 

  1. Italy (+4) – I’m still head-over-heels in l’amore with this, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon. It’s easily my favourite of the three entries Italy has sent since their comeback, and if they want to impress me next year they should start preparing yesterday. Considering they don’t seem that bothered about impressing at Eurovision (but manage to anyway) they’ll probably wait a while longer.

    'Numero uno, and it didn't cost a euro!'

    ‘Numero uno, and it didn’t cost a euro!’

  2. Hungary (+1)
  3. Moldova (+4)
  4. Sweden (-3)
  5. Germany (-3)
  6. Montenegro (+25) – Yep, you could say Igranka made a substantial leap upwards in my rankings. You know, ‘cause it did. I had high hopes for it on description alone, only to hear it and think ‘What The Fudge?’. But a few listens later (away from the raunchy music video), I got it, and now I want to be taken to the party. I can’t promise I’ll dress up as an astronaut, though.
  7. Norway (-1)
  8. Ukraine (-4)
  9. Ireland (+6)
  10. Azerbaijan (+27) – Another extra-large jump was made by The Land That Brought Us Running Scared, Shudder Shudder. I won’t deny it: the man in the box and all that jazz played a part in changing my mind about the song. That presentation took Hold Me to another level, and when I listened to it after the event, I was still feeling positive.  

    Farid and his box-boy, forced to sit through yet another replay of 'Running Scared'.

    Farid and his box-boy, forced to sit through yet another replay of ‘Running Scared’.


 The rest

  1. Belgium (-3)
  2. Serbia (-1)
  3. Israel (+8)
  4. Lithuania (-4)
  5. Greece (+14) – I must have been in a bad place when Koza Mostra were chosen to go to Malmö. A place where it’s impossible to see how fun-derful they are. Now I see them as musos that embody Greece at their best; that is, their best when they don’t have a fierce female in a super-short dress performing an up-tempo ethnopop song representing them. Alcohol Is Free is off-the-wall, very Greek and more complex than you’d think (hint: it ain’t all about free alcohol).
  6. Croatia (+19)
  7. Albania (-3)
  8. United Kingdom (-6)
  9. Macedonia (-10)
  10. Russia (+18) – You don’t have to hate me for this, because I’m hating myself enough for all of us. I still despise the lyrics in all their OTT, clichéd grossness, but the melody got to me in the end. Dina also sold the sentiment quite well on stage, which made it feel slightly less forced. She has a great voice (in fact, she’s THE voice in Russia) so let’s hope it’s put to less nauseating use in the future.
  11. Romania (+4)
  12. Estonia (-3)
  13. Georgia (+7)
  14. San Marino (+8)
  15. Slovenia (+8)
  16. Spain (-6) – I still feel more or less the same about this as I did two months ago, and the only reason it’s gone down in my rankings is because a bunch of other songs have gone up. It’s a sweet little ditty (BRB, just got to give my grandmother her terminology back) and it works better purely as a listening song, not as a competition song, so 26/39 is in no way a slap in ESDM’s collective face from me.

    '25th in the contest and now 26th here? WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?'

    ’25th in the contest and now 26th here? WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?’

  1. Netherlands (+7)
  2. Denmark (-4)
  3. Switzerland (-12)
  4. Malta (-4)
  5. Armenia (+5)
  6. France (-19) – I still have a sneaking regard for this, as a lover of the retro style and French language (don’t you just love that ‘toxique’?) but again, it was sent packing to the lower end of my 39 by all the entries that I suddenly became enamoured with. Having said that, it isn’t something I’ll have on repeat.
  7. Iceland (-17)
  8. Austria (-16)


My (un)lucky lasts

  1. Latvia (-7)
  2. Finland (-14)
  3. Bulgaria (-10)
  4. Belarus (-15) – Solayoh has finally begun to grate on me, and with the excitement of Eurovision over, I’m recalling how much I hate the way the Belarusian selection panned out. It was a pretty pointless exercise, and THEN somebody decided to go back in time and nab a Helena Paparizou B-side to make up for it. FYI, it didn’t. As of now, I’m officially back to missing Rhythm of Love.

    'Like I care. Which one of us has the gigantic disco ball?'

    ‘Like I care. I’m the one who has a gigantic disco ball.’

  1. Cyprus


As usual, at this point, there isn’t a single entry I could claim to hate. Sure, I’m disliking Solayoh at the moment, but if it were a person I wouldn’t want to strangle them with a feather boa – I’d probably just shake my fist in their general direction. Cyprus, the only song that didn’t shift positions in my rankings between May and now, is only at the bottom because it sends me to sleep. But who knows what will happen after another few months have gone by. You may see Cyprus and Belarus catfighting for my #1 position.

Hashtag AS IF.


How’s your top 39 looking now compared to way back when? Which entries have grown on you the most and which ones have begun to get a little…*yawn*…tired?


8 Responses to “I’m (attempting) to make my mind up: My top 39, two months after Malmö”

  1. Annika

    Hii Jaz!

    omg that picture of Farid is all I needed in my life xD It perfectly reflect my thoughts on the song as well 😛
    yay for your #1 😀 wow so you seriously dislike Only Teardrops :O It has gone down on my rankings as well (but just a tiny bit) because the peace message became a bit too obvious after listening to it too much.

    I haven’t heard many of the songs since May so I don’t really know how I’d rank them, but my top 15 is something like

    1. Moldova (+3)
    2. Italy (+6)
    3. Greece (=)
    4. Serbia (-3)
    5. Hungary (+1)
    6. Croatia (-1)
    7. Denmark (-5)
    8. Albania (-1)
    9. Ukraine (=)
    10. Austria (+1)
    11. Spain (-1)
    12. Bulgaria (=)
    13. Sweden (+7)

    I know I started disliking Finland, France and Germany a lot after the show, while Estonia and Montenegro grew but I don’t really know where to rank them. I think I’ll save the energy that ranking these songs takes and use it to rank JESC entries when the time comes.


    • Jaz

      Hahaha, that photo of Farid and the box guy (note to self: find out that guy’s actual name) also got me shipping them for the first time. They make a cute couple for sure. Even though he’s supposed to represent Farid’s alter ego or whatever and to be in love with another part of yourself would be very narcissistic and weird.

      I don’t have a vendetta against Only Teardrops or anything…I may be a little annoyed still because it was the favourite and it won and there was no surprise victory and I only ever thought it was okay. It’s bitterness. Just ignore me if I slag it off =P

      Woo, Moldova at #1!! As time goes on I keep thinking they should have made the top 10. Preferably instead of Russia. Actually, ANYONE instead of Russia would’ve been great.

      Woo and a hoo for Sweden jumping up. The Stjernberg charm won you over, it seems 😉

      It looks like it won’t be too hard ranking the JESC songs, if we get to that point (fingers crossed).


  2. Nick P.

    I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who essentially ripped apart their top 39. 😀 I’m working on a blog post about it, so I don’t want to divulge too much, but this is my top 10 in no particular order.

    – Sweden
    – Belgium (… no more top 10?! I’m probably the only Eurofan on the planet with this in my top 10. lol.)
    – Norway*
    – Estonia
    – Malta
    – France
    – Montenegro (So happy to see this one so high in your list!)
    – Italy (I’m also thrilled to see this one climb to numero uno!)
    – Iceland*
    – Spain (Here’s my first and last Eric Saade reference: #ROBBED)

    The ones with asterisks are new additions. They replaced Switzerland and Germany who found new homes in the top 20. 🙂

    P.S. It’s so good to be back here. 🙂


    • Jaz

      I enjoy ripping my rankings apart because it’s so fun and painful at the same time, and then I get to complain to myself. It is also interesting to see how much minds can change in a short period of time.

      I’m still loving Belgium, don’t worry! And I’m glad to see it still in favour with you. The Roberto Bellarosa Fan Club is still alive.

      It’s good to have you back! DON’T LEAVE ME EVER AGAAAAIIIIN!! Not that I’m needy, or anything.

      PS – I currently have Marco Mengoni as my desktop wallpaper. Robin needed a rest.


  3. jamessayeresc

    Great idea for a post, Jaz! 🙂 For me, my absolute favourite has always been Ukraine and the one I simply loathe is that bloody Birds song… those ones haven’t changed. But a few of the others have moved around – can’t think of any other way to explain it so:
    1) Ukraine (-) [PERFECTION]
    2) Serbia (+1)
    3) Denmark (-1)
    4) Slovenia (+2) [her dancers. mmmm]
    5) Montenegro (+7) [this is epic. why did I not realise this straight away!?!]
    6) Sweden (+1)
    7) Cyprus (+3) [ballad of the year imo, sorrynotsorry XD]
    8) Finland (+3)
    9) Germany (-4)
    10) Belgium (+8)
    11) France (-7) [similar to you here; I still love it.. I just love the other ones more now]
    12) Italy (+16) [this one really grew on me the most, and I’m loving Marco’s album too]
    13) FYR Macedonia (-4)
    14) Ireland (+1)
    15) United Kingdom (-7)
    16) Spain (-3)
    17) Belarus (+2)
    18) Bulgaria (-2)
    19) Israel (+2)
    20) Moldova (+4)
    21) Estonia (+15) [still not totally loving it, but its waaay better than I first assumed]
    22) Russia (+1)
    23) San Marino (-6) [was only ever *average* and it’s not ageing well]
    24) Malta (+5)
    25) Norway (-11) [SOOOOO overrated]
    26) Switzerland (-6)
    27) Hungary (-5)
    28) Austria (-2)
    29) Iceland (+3)
    30) Romania (+7) [genuine embarrassment whenever my ipod throws this one at me]
    31) Georgia (-1)
    32) Albania (+1)
    33) Lithuania (-6)
    34) Latvia (-9)
    35) Greece (+3)
    36) Croatia (-4)
    37) Armenia (-2)
    38) Azerbaijan (-4) [simply because it went and did so well and that fills me with rage.)
    39) Netherlands (-)

    Okay, I thought I’d changed my mind a bit more than I actually have… :’)


    • Jaz

      I find that the top and bottom ones are much more likely to stay put. Everything in-between is fair game for moving around all over the place. All the time. FOR THE REST OF ETERNITYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Oh, the torment of Eurovision fannery.

      Now, more torment for you as I pass judgment on your 39…mwahahahahaha, et cetera.

      Glad to see Montenegro so high, and I’m in total agreement with you. I can’t believe I listened to it the first time and thought ‘What in the name of all that is musical IS this???!?’. Best thing they’ve ever sent.

      Sweden gets my tick of approval also. Cyprus does not, but I will allow you to have your own taste, I suppose 😛

      Again, agree with you on San Marino. As time goes on, that schlagery final part gets more irritating. I still really like the ballad part of it. I wonder which style we’ll get from Valentina next year? Maybe it will be neither, and she’ll take inspiration from Who See and go dubstep. That would be something and a half!

      Norway overrated? BOOO HISSS!

      RE: Azerbaijan…did you really expect anything else?? I wonder if we’ll ever see the day when they don’t finish in the top 10. Let alone the day when they don’t make a final. I have to admit, I would enjoy that a teensy bit. The JESC fail at least let them know they aren’t invincible.


      • jamessayeresc

        Ahh yes, torment indeed. We’re so indecisive 😛

        Yay for ticks of approval 😀 Still love belting out “VODIM TE NA IGRANKU, NA NA NA NA IGRANKU” or “YOU-OU-OO-OO-OO-OO-OOO-OU” when I’m *quite* sure the house is empty 😛

        Valentina doing dubstep would be the singular most hilarious thing to grace the ESC stage since the dawn of time. Even better if she borrows Who See’s spacesuits and Lys Assia’s skateboard. OMG. IMAGINE.

        And about Azerbaijan, yeah it was always gonna be top 10 unfortunately, but the fact it ended up second, and JUST beat Zlata will always make me hate “Hold Me” just a little more than is strictly necessary!! An Azerbaijani non-qualification would literally be the highlight of my entire year. More fails like in JESC please! :))


        • Jaz

          Okay, now I’m seeing Valentina onstage, dubstepping her arse off in a spacesuit, on a skateboard and with Lys on her shoulders. And what she actually ends up doing next year will never measure up.

          I feel mean for wishing failure on Azerbaijan…but JUST ONCE, in ESC, would be so damn enjoyable. Especially for Armenia (cough cough). I just can’t see it happening anytime soon. I can imagine the powers that be sitting in an office in Baku every March and saying ‘So we won in 2011, and then had two excellent results in a row…how about we go for something mid-top 10 in Denmark and then go for another win the year after? Hmm?’. It seems that easy for them sometimes.



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