Time-Warp Tuesday: Top ten? U(K) are kidding me, right?

These days, it’s countries like Greece who always find themselves in the top ten (how terrible for them). But once upon a time – or to be more specific, the period between 1987 and 1999 – it was the UK constantly nabbing one of those coveted positions, believe it or not (with their recent “luck”, it would be easier not to).

If you can think back that far in time, here’s a little trivia question for you. In 1995, Royaume Uni still managed to squeeze into the top ten with an entry that would be doomed in today’s contest. Did this particular entry:

a)      Have the same name as the group performing it, which is never a promising sign?

b)      Feature such deep, meaningful and poetic lyrics as ‘I know we’re really makin’ love now’ and ‘I saw you had flavour and I wanted a taste of this sweet thing’? (How romantic).

c)      See the artists take to the stage wearing more tartan than you’d find at a kilt festival, and not in an acceptable, kilt kind of way?

d)     Make Eurovision ghetto by being 95% crap? (I mean rap, obviously. There’s only a one-letter difference. I was bound to make a typo).

e)      Do all of the above…and so much more?

If you answered ‘e’, congratulations! And also, commiserations, because apparently you haven’t been lucky enough to banish the horror that was Love City Groove by, yes, Love City Groove, from your mind. It’s hard to digest the fact that seventy-six points were notched up by these guys, enough to get them to number ten (albeit alongside Malta), in a contest where today, not even The World’s Greatest Boy Band* can claw their way up that high, position-wise. Times sure have changed…

*Not an official accolade bestowed upon Blue, unbelievably.


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