Retro Rankings | Helsinki 2007

I would like to open this post by saying…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7UmV6FYvmA

That’s right: I’m still in the land of the living! You may have been fooled into thinking otherwise when you last dropped by EBJ and realised that it was growing mould because it had been untouched for so long (just over three weeks, but that’s like three years in blog time). However, dear readers/anyone who cares/anyone who doesn’t care ‘cause I’m not fussy – that was simply due to a little thing called ‘going back to university’. It has this way of stopping you from doing stuff you’d rather be doing, especially when it’s been a year since you’ve done any proper study and you have to re-learn how to be a student (which mainly involves complaining about everything and doing assignments at the last minute). But I’m back in business, and thought I’d try something brand new to celebrate.

After I did my updated ranking of the Malmö 39, I realised something shocking. Although I’d been ranking all the entries every year since I started this blog, I had never, ever gone back and ranked the contests from 1956-2008.

Oops.

That is a lot of contests to catch up on, so I need to get cracking, right? I’m starting today with one of my favourite contests. It wasn’t my first, but it was the first one I watched as a semi-knowledgeable fan, and so it holds a special place in my heart (aww…). I love everything about Year Helsinki, and now I’m about to find out which of the 42 entries I love the most. I’m a little scared, so let’s get going.

Oh, one more thing before we begin. I missed you guys! Especially you. That’s right, I’m talking to you.

ANYWAY, for starters, here’s a refresher: 

 And now, from #1 aaaaaallllllllll the way down to #42, my rankings.

1. Slovenia/ Cvet Z Juga by Alenka Gotar – I was not expecting this to top the list, but here we are. Alenka must have bewitched me with her glass-breakingly high voice and the LED she had embedded in her palm. Seriously though, I love this song. Dance, opera and wind machine came seamlessly together to produce a dramatic three minutes that won Slovenia a place in the final for the first time; and that was in a huge (like, ‘Why, oh, why do I have to sit through this many songs in a semi-final?!?’ huge) field of 28 entries. Brava! 

‘You may think it’s stupid, but let me tell you – it sure beats fumbling in the dark for a torch.’

2. Armenia/ Anytime You Need by Hayko
3. Bosnia & Herzegovina/ Rijeka Bez Imena by Maria
4. France/ L’Amour A La Française by Les Fatals Picards
5. Belarus/ Work Your Magic by Koldun – This remains my favourite Belarusian entry to date, and it has nothing to do with the crush I once had on the impossibly beautiful Koldun (which was weird because I was aware of the Princess Diana resemblance). Sure, he was great, and the staging was too, but the song is epic all on its own. Big, brash, and so very Eurovision = my eternal love.
6. Serbia/ Molitva by Marija Šerifović
7. Russia/ Song #1 by Serebro
8. Spain/ I Love You Mi Vida by D’Nash
9. Moldova/ Fight by Natalia Barbu – This song has had a big impact on me lately (which I’ll go into in another post) but I’ve always been a fan of it. After the horror that they sent to Athens the previous year, anything would have been a step up for Moldova (seriously, a box of Kleenex would have done the job). I think they took a massive step with this one though. It has violins! It has rock! It has power! It has fierceness! Plus, you can have hours of fun trying to figure out what the heck the lyrics are about. ‘Itch people will gnaw our wishes no more’? That’s a stumper right there.  

Natalia fights to get her pants to stay up during rehearsals.

10. Romania/ Liubi, Liubi, I Love You by Todomondo
11. Latvia/ Questa Notte by Bonaparti.lv
12. Cyprus/ Comme Ci, Comme Ça by Evrdiki
13. Lithuania/ Love Or Leave by 4Fun
14. Croatia/ Vjerujem U Ljubav by Dragonfly feat. Dado Topić
15. Bulgaria/ Water by Elitsa & Stoyan – As we now know, this duo cannot be counted on to bring Bulgaria Eurovision success, but they did hit the right note the first time round. Opening the semi with their chain mail and faux lightning and enthusiastic drumming (lethargic drumming is sooooo unappealing), they got the audience fired up and ready to attempt to sit through the next 27 songs without a toilet break…although there were quite a few songs I would have used to go for toilet breaks had I been there.
16. Greece/ Yassou Maria by Sarbel
17. Czech Republic/ Mala Dama by Kabat
18. Switzerland/ Vampires Are Alive by DJ Bobo
19. Finland/ Leave Me Alone by Hanna
20. Turkey/ Shake It Up Shekerim by Kenan Doğulu – This isn’t up there with my favourites from our dearly departed Turkey (who had better hurry up and confirm that they’ll be in Denmark next year, or else) but it is Turkey doing what they do best…when they aren’t doing kick-ass ethno rock, that is. SIUS is ethno pop with a catchy chorus, and that has proved to be a magic formula for the Turks time and time again. I do find it a little sleazy in parts.

‘My milkshake brings all the belly dancers to the yard…’

21. Ukraine/ Dancing Lasha Tumbai by Verka Seduchka
22. FYR Macedonia/ Mojot Svet by Karolina
23. Ireland/ They Can’t Stop The Spring by Dervish
24. Georgia/ Visionary Dream by Sopho – You can have your Waterfall back, Sweden, because THIS is the Georgia I want to see. Original, cultural, daring Georgia. Now, you may be thinking ‘If you like it so much Jaz, then why is it sitting un-pretty at #24?’ Well, to that I say this: I can find pros and cons in most of the Class of 2007, bar a few that I totally dislike. Therefore, #24 is the equivalent of like, 7/10. I don’t love, but I definitely like.
25. Hungary/ Unsubstantial Blues by Magdi Rúzsa
26. Andorra/ Salvem El Món by Anonymous
27. Portugal/ Dança Comigo by Sabrina
28. Germany/ Frauen Regier’n Die Welt by Roger Cicero
29. Austria/ Get A Life – Get Alive by Eric Papilaya
30. United Kingdom/ Flying The Flag (For You) by Scooch – Okay, so this wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination; rather, the words ‘trashy’ and ‘tacky’ come to mind whenever I think about it. But it was harmless, sexual-innuendo-filled fun. My only peeve is that, having failed miserably with a camp novelty song in 2006, the UK decided to pick version 2.0 the very next year – and it wasn’t the last time they’d make that mistake.

Granted, flying would be a lot more fun if this was the crew.

31. Albania/ Hear My Plea by Fredrik Ndoci
32. Israel/ Push The Button by Teapacks
33. Netherlands/ On Top of the World by Edsilia Rombley
34. Sweden/ The Worrying Kind by The Ark
35. Montenegro/ Ajde Kroči by Stevan Faddy
36. Poland/ Time To Party by Jet Set – So far in this post I’ve used the words ‘sleazy’, ‘trashy’ and ‘tacky’, and all three apply equally as well to Poland. The song is a teensy bit catchy, I’ll admit, but generally…it’s ugh. The lyrics are awful (particularly the cringe-worthy line about being ‘a little bit crazy like a baby uhhh’) and the whole thing is uninspired. Poland has been overlooked a few times IMO, but this wasn’t one of them.
37. Iceland/ Valentine Lost by Eirikur Hauksson
38. Norway/ Ven A Bailar Conmigo by Guri Schanke
39. Denmark/ Drama Queen by DQ
40. Belgium/ Lovepower by The KMGs
41. Malta/ Vertigo by Olivia Lewis
42. Estonia/ Partners In Crime by Gerli Padar – Estonia, a country I’ve loved in Eurovision the last few years, has the dubious honour of being my least favourite from the 2007 contest. Well, not the country itself, but the “song” they chose to send to Helsinki. It’s never enough to rely on your name to do well in the ESC, so even though Gerli had the Padar in her corner (and on her birth certificate) it didn’t distract from the pedestrian yawn-fest that was Partners In Crime. Thankfully, what Estonia brought post-2008 more than made up for the indiscretion.

Hell hath no fury like a woman related to Tanel Padar.

So that was a rather long ranking-themed ramble, wasn’t it? It was almost as long as the ’07 semi (how many times can I reference that before it gets old?). But after literally weeks without chatting about Eurovision with y’all, I had a lot to get off my chest.

Now I want to know what you guys think. Do you agree with how I’ve ranked the songs above, or are you horrified by my lack of taste? Which songs of 2007 do you love and hate, six years later? Let me know below ↓

BRB, just off to make sure I’ll be posting again before Christmas…2050. Until then, auf wiedersehen.

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